If Someday Never Comes

Chapter 10

Brooks's POV

The Tavern normally closes at 11 pm but since there is still a crowd here the last call won't be for a while. It's the one night a year that anything is happening in this town past midnight and normally I welcome the excitement but I haven't moved from the back table. I've kept my distance from the bar where Sydney has been sitting next to Jake, laughing. His hand keeps reaching out and landing on her knee that's exposed from under that short dress. She took off her jacket and I swear she winked at me when she placed it on the back of her chair. I'm starting to get the feeling she's fucking with me and it's really starting to piss me off. 

I'm not the same sweet Brooks she once knew, everything that happened after I lost my dad changed me. I'm not naive or soft, I don't search for the best in people or life, and I definitely don't follow the rules. It's all business, within my company and my personal life. I make things cut and dry, black and white, stick with what works and get rid of what doesn't, with no complication, and nothing too personal. I'm upfront with the people in my life and I'm not a completely cold jackass but they know that I'm also not fucking around either. It's created a large amount of success in the company and that's all I'm concerned with, anything else was too messy. 

Quinn had wandered to another table in the front with Riley where Clay and his wife were sitting. Sam had excused himself about two hours ago, but here I sat unable to leave. Jake was my friend but I didn't know how I felt about him spending time with Sydney. The thought of them leaving together created a burning sensation in my chest. I'm chalking it up to the fact that I haven't seen her since that day by the lake, it's all the nostalgia of her presence and once she is gone so will all of these feelings I do my best to avoid. I think about the dreams and memories that have been haunting me the last few weeks and I think maybe my subconscious was trying to warn me. Regardless, the lid on the shit I've kept shoved away is getting looser by the second and my resolve is dissolving along with it. This is the problem, Sydney has been back in this town for a few hours and I am already losing control of myself and my emotions when control is what I have survived on for the last five years so I cling to it like a vice grip. 

I keep reminding myself that it's good that I'm seeing her now, so that I can get a handle on whatever it is I'm feeling before the wedding but it doesn't seem to be helping, it is only irritating me further. 

There are so many familiar faces that I'd normally be catching up and making conversation with but I can't, all my energy is being poured into not pulling her out of this bar and escorting her out of this town. My heart is pounding in my ears and the beers I've been drinking are not subduing the sour taste I have in my mouth. I feel like a creep sitting by himself in the back of the bar, watching Sydney, when she leans forward, her hand on Jake's shoulder and her lips close to his ear, my eyes burn at the sight but I keep watching, she whispers something to him and then slides off the bar stool towards the bathroom. I was so lost in watching her legs carry her down the short hallway that I didn't notice Jake joining me back at the table. His cocky voice interrupts my thoughts, "Like what you see?" and it's all I can do not to sideswipe his jaw with my fist. 

"No idea what you're talking about." my eyes shift around the bar.

He sits down at the chair across from me again, "Is there still something going on with you two man? I can back off, I just figured since you finally propo..." 

I cut him off, "No. There's nothing there anymore. I haven't talked to her in years, I was just caught off guard seeing her." 

"Is it weird for you if I make a move? I know how territorial you were about her in high school." he laughs. 

Does he think this is a fucking joke cause it sure doesn't feel like one? "Well, it's not high school anymore Scott, and she won't be around for long, you do what you want." I stare at the beer bottle in front of me.