If Someday Never Comes

Chapter 3

Brooks's POV 

I hung up the phone and a scowl covered my face. "What's wrong with you?" Sam asked.

"My sister is engaged," I say somberly. 

"Oh shit, that's a good thing, right? She and Kelsey seem really happy together." He replied. 

"Yeah. I guess." 

"Then why do you have that look on your face? It's like she told you she had a terminal illness."

I shook my head quickly pushing away the thoughts of her and being in her presence again. As if he could read my thoughts, Sam said, "Oh..." as his eyes grew wide, and handed me a beer from the six-pack he had sitting on my coffee table. We didn't have to talk about it, he knew, all too well why my reaction was the way it was. I took the beer, cracked it open, and took a big swig laying my head back on the cushion. I forced any memory or emotion that swirled in my chest at the thought of her away. I hadn't seen Sydney since that day on the dock 5 years ago and I made it clear to Layla that I never wanted to hear anything about her or her life. Keeping that part of me locked away served me better, it kept me in check and didn't distract me from what was necessary. 

When I took over Dawson Development Corp. things were not as successful as my dad had portrayed them to be. The cost of materials had only increased, it was harder to get reliable employees and he had bit off a little more than he could chew. Luckily for me when I took over I was able to give all my time and energy to the company without distraction, I have worked my ass off to expand this business. I managed to move most of our property investments to commercial buildings in Westville and the surrounding three counties and apartment buildings versus homes. We were still flipping residential houses that needed to be updated around the local area so they would offer nice bonuses when we made the sale but the foundation of the company was running on the rent and renovations of multiple local businesses as well as the large apartment buildings we now owned. 

I had hired Jake Scott to manage the apartment buildings and he did a good job of maintaining that end of the business while I oversaw the construction portion of what we did. It kept me busy and it kept me far from memory lane. 

"Want me to set a tee time for tomorrow?" Sam interrupted my thoughts. 

"Yeah, after 11 am though, I need to hit the gym in the morning." 

The only thing outside of work that kept me sane was golf and lifting weights. For years I have had this dull ache living in the pit of my stomach, a part of me knew why it existed there in the depths of my soul but I was never fucking touching those feelings again so I did everything I could to keep them at bay. 

Later that night after Sam had left and I fell asleep on the couch watching Sportscenter my dreams were flooded with vivid images, her crystal blue eyes stared back at me full of love, her long dark hair felt like silk on my fingers, and the touch of her hands on my skin lit me up from inside out. I could see the smile cross her lips and the redness covering her cheeks, her light shined bright as she nuzzled herself closer into my body and my nostrils were filled with her scent. I felt ease overtake my body and for the first time in a long time, I felt peace. The minute I felt my muscles relax my mind finally became aware of what I had allowed back in even for the briefest moments. I jolted awake and upright, sweat covered my body and my hands trembled. Bits and pieces of the images of her were trying to fight their way back through but I refused their entry. I hadn't let myself think of her in so long, the uneasiness filled my gut. The idea of seeing her scared me, I swallowed hard as my breathing increased, my chest heaved and the pain radiated into my chest in a way that I hadn't felt in a really long time. "Fuck" I whispered to myself as I rubbed a hand down my face. 

I felt my phone vibrate on the cushion of the couch, I searched for it as I checked my watch for the time. It was a little after 11 pm, my heart raced as I stumbled with the device, the word Girlfriend slid across the top of the screen. I pressed the red button to decline the call, I didn't have the energy to deal with that right now.

 My breathing began to calm as I laid back on the couch but the worry inside my chest grew. If only the thought of Sydney again is causing this reaction in my body how will I survive actually being in the same place as her again? The only thing that brought me comfort was that I had almost a year before it was going to be something I had to deal with. Layla told me they were thinking June, so I had 10 months to demolish any kind of reaction to my past that still lived inside of me and no matter what I would succeed because I promised myself a long time ago that I couldn't give Sydney the life she deserved and what we had was not good for either of us. What we had was too much, too deep, what I needed was simple, easy and what she needed was more than that. 

My eyes fluttered closed and as much as I tried to fight I couldn't help but wonder if she ever thought about me. The pang that hit me at the thought of her forgetting me was a surprise and once again I was at battle with myself, trying to shove the thoughts away. 

AN: Ohhhh Brooksie, how excited are we to finally hear from him?!