Baby Love

Chapter 6

Word Count: 1393

Taylor's POV:

He tries to pick her up again and this time she gets up from the couch and runs directly to me. Dropping her blanket, she runs directly into my crossed legs with her arms tightly wrapped around her piglet. I can see the tears still running down her face so I do what anyone else would do. I reach out to pick her up and pull her on my lap. She continues to sob, her body tense in my arms. I look at Joe who returns my concern with a look of despair.

"Hey, Averie, it's okay. Can you take some deep breaths for me?" I gently rub her back as she tries to calm down.

"Breathe in," I try to help by instructing her.

"Nugget, you've got to leave Taylor alone," Joe walks over with his arms out to pick her up, which coincidentally snaps her out of her daze.

"No Daddy, go away," she screams at him as she scrambled closer to me.

"Okay, okay," Joe holds up his arms in surrender.

"Averie, can you tell me how I can help you?" I ask next trying to calm the poor child. If Joe wants her to sleep, she needs to carry a lot less tension in her body. I continue to rub her bare back gently trying to get her to relax.

Averie eyes me suspiciously as she pulls her body away from me as if she trying to figure me out.

"Hmm, baby? Are you cold?" I follow up, trying to guess possible things they could help.

Averie nods a small yes and I motion to Joe to hand me her abandoned blanket. He follows my lead silently. I wrap the blanket around the toddler before pulling her to lean on me a little more.

She sneaks her thumb in her mouth, hidden under the blanket as she anxiously sucks.

"Do you want to stay here on my lap
Or go to your bed?" I offer next trying to coax her into sleeping.

Averie stares back at me as if she's confused by my words. I can see the sleep starting to set in in her eyes as I gently rub her back through the blanket now.

"Okay, you can stay with me," I quietly answer myself based on her reaction. She still feels a little warm, probably due to her fever.

A few moments of silence pass as I watch Averie, who watches an empty spot in the room. Her eyes start to droop with sleep as she stares absentmindedly.

"You don't have to hold her," is the first thing Joe says breaking the heavy silence.

"I know but she asked," I counter. I'm not sure what part of him thinks his disconnection with Averie is a good thing.

"Oh okay, but I promise if she's a bother, I can go put her down," he replies as he shrinks into himself. Is he embarrassed that his daughter needs comfort? Or is he embarrassed that she doesn't want it from him?

"Joe, are you not comfortable with me holding her?"

"No, that's completely okay. I'm glad she seems to like you," he quickly shakes his head.

"Okay, then you don't have to worry about it. Despite not having any, I do know how to care for a kid. And I don't mind holding yours, even if she's sick," I try to emphasize my words so that he truly understands what I'm saying. I'm not trying to be mean but he's getting obnoxious about this. She's a child, not a pet and she deserves to be shown some affection. No metaphors or hyperbole are needed, I honestly don't think this child could scare me away.

"Thanks," he replies with an anxious look in his eyes.

"I'm not upset that you have a child Joe, I never was. I was, and I still am hurt that you didn't want to tell me," I take my chance to share again. It's okay if Averie can hear us, there's no reason to hide her. She's going to be a big part of his future, one that I want to be in also.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. It was never my intention to hurt you," he offers an apology.

"I know that now. I was so mad that you didn't feel comfortable sharing her existence with me. It made me think that maybe I wasn't a good enough girlfriend or maybe I was too much or my reputation burned too quickly and it made you feel like you needed to hide," I ramble.

"Taylor, Taylor. It's not your fault. I didn't mean to cause you to spiral. I'm just not used to sharing and when I do usually Averie has a habit of chasing them away," Joe shared with a bittersweet look on his face as he mentions Averie. It must be memories of the girls she's chased away.

"Can I ask you something about her?" I switch gears because it's really been bothering me that he keeps making her a second thought.

"Ask away," he nods.

"Are you really okay with leaving her for so long? Like months at a time? Do you not worry or miss her too much?" I question, eager to hear his answer.

"I do miss her and I do worry but I know how important it is for me to be working. I know she is in great hands with my parents so I don't worry too much. I know that if I let my guard down out in the real world or at work, I might miss something important and I can't afford to do that," Joe answers vaguely.

"Joe, I think that worries me. I don't wanna be the reason she doesn't have a dad or anyone to lean on for that matter. Averie is just a kid, she deserves to have someone cuddle her when she's sick. She deserves holidays and New Year's Eve parties and family dance parties. I don't want to stay if I keep being a barrier between what love she receives versus what love she deserves. I'll feel too guilty, I can't watch someone else abandon their daughter," my voice cracks a little at the end as I think of the rocky times I went through with my family. It's not fair and she doesn't deserve that. Maybe I'm projecting too many of my own feelings on this but I can't sit by and idly watch it happen.

"Taylor, I'm not abandoning my daughter. I don't understand why you're accusing me of that. It's really not your place to pass judgment on how I parent when you haven't been through half of what I have as a parent," Joe gets defensive, mad even.

"I'm not saying you're a bad parent," I push back raising my voice a little.

"You sure as hell as acting like it," he replies snarkily.

"Averie was upset and you completely dismissed her feelings," I counter.

"She's three, she's gonna her feelings that she needs to learn how to process on her own."

"On her own?"

"Yeah, self-soothe," Joe counters as if he has the upper hand.

"Self-soothe if she wakes up in the middle of the night from irrational thoughts not when she's sick and tired and trying not to be too upset that her dad's girlfriend is taking over his free time," I shoot back, frustrated by his words. He's the parent here yet it feels like he doesn't care.

"Averie's fine, she got a little too needy," Joe replied as if that was a good observation.

"She's three! Of course, she's needy," I raise my voice. This medicine is doing wonders for Averie as she's still fast asleep.

"I'm not taking parenting advice from someone who doesn't have children, and the cats don't count," Joe huffed.

"It's not parenting advice, it's just basic human nature. Children seek out those who bring them comfort, care for them and show them love in a time of need. Tonight she needed someone and instead of you, she chose a complete stranger, doesn't that make you wonder why?"

A/n

I'm starting my final tests week soon so as always expect large delays. Let me know what you think!

See you in the next one friends!