The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

The Big Spoon

Sirius was on the bed when James pushed opened the door of his room. He was laying back-to, curled in a loose fetal position, his face turned down and pressed against the pillow beneath him.

"He's not dead, not dead... not dead... my brother isn't dead, he's not... you shut up, he isn't... I know what I saw... know what I saw, he isn't dead... He's alive. He's alive. I know he has to be.... my fault. My fault. I did it to him... me... What kind of brother... please..."

James slid inside and closed the door behind himself. The sound of it shutting made Sirius's body stiffen.

"Don't. Please Moony. Please don't... Please, I can't--" and he shook all over in a great shudder that tensed his entire body and pressed his face harder into the pillows. A noise that was just so inhuman came out from the very depths of him, muffled only by the pillow.

James didn't speak. Instead, he walked quickly across the room, climbed up onto the bed, laid down behind Sirius, and wrapped his arm around him, becoming the big spoon as he contoured exactly to Sirius and pulled his mate closer.

"James?" Sirius whimpered, smelling him.

James took his glasses off and tossed them aside, then pressed his face against Sirius's shoulder. "Yeah, it's me."

Sirius clung onto James's arm, pulling it up across his chest so James's hand was under his cheek and he breathed the smell of his palm.

James lay holding Sirius, silent but speaking a thousand words.

Regulus woke up and found the light was fading in the sky, though when he looked up it was to find he was under an umbrella, which was magically suspended overhead. Krecher was in a ball on his lap, curled up tight, his giant ears wrapped around himself like a couple of blankets.

His face smarted something awful and his tongue felt again the jagged broken edge of what remained of his front tooth. He was sore all over, and having slept there in the garden against a brick wall was not exactly the best way to have eased any of the pain inflicted by the Dark Lord and his friends. He winced with even the slightest motion.

Kreacher stirred as Regulus did, and seeing his Master awake, the elf scrambled to his feet, "Master Regulus needs Kreacher?"

"Yeah, Kreacher..." Regulus murmured. He groaned as he sat up a bit more. The sky was darkening rapidly. He needed to make it safe to go inside the house, rather than just hanging about in the garden like this... "I need you to - to get me my wand."

"Kreacher can do it for his Master," Kreacher nodded. "Where has Master Regulus left his wand, and Kreacher will go to fetch it."

"I left it in Sirius's flat, in East London. I believe it was in the kitchen, maybe on the counter... I think I put it down when I was cracking eggs this morning before breakfast. But they might have moved it. Just... hop over there and find it, alright?"

Kreacher nodded, "Kreacher will find it! Kreacher will get his Master's wand."

"Best not to be seen, Kreacher," Regulus added, thinking of how Sirius hated the house elf. He'd go over after he'd fixed the charms on the house and see Sirius - surely his brother and the others were worried about him, with the abrupt departure and all, but no use getting Sirius worked up at the sight of the elf. And Kreacher certainly didn't deserve being yelled at either.

"Yes Master Regulus," Kreacher said, and he disappeared.

Regulus struggled to get up, careful not to kick any of the little stone piles that filled the garden. He looked 'round at the little memorials Kreacher had built and felt the sadness sink in again. Reaching into his pocket, he found the Christmas ribbon that had been stuck on to the top of the package his watch had been in. It was a bit crumpled from having been in his pocket, but it was shiny and red and it was from his brother, and even though it was rubbish to most people, it meant something to him. He lay it gently on the grave with the roses that was Kreacher's mum's.