The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

Scars and Stars

Remus Lupin was sitting on the stairs of the common room in Gryffindor tower. A plate was balanced on his lap, a piece of cake with bright blue frosting, and on his head was a gold and silver party hat. The hat was tilted, sitting awkwardly atop his hair, and the soft bit of curls that formed in his hair hung upon his forehead as he looked down, his eyes deep chocolate brown, matching the cake he was picking at and eating with his fingers. Music was playing from a radio one of the muggle girls had - it was crackly and not as loud as the Gryffindor parties of their later years, the ones when Sirius had his record player.

"Hey, are you having a good time, mate?"

Remus looked up. It was Sirius, and Remus watched Sirius sprawling over the stairs as though he'd been poured on them.

"I can't believe you lot did this."

"One day, I'll have a job and I'll buy you a stupendous present." Sirius said, "Anything you like, you can have."

The desire was there, right there, the chocolate eyes searching Sirius's face. "Anything?" 

Why hadn't he seen it then?

Gods, even in this fucking -dream? vision?- he couldn't hardly resist those eyes. How had he resisted them then? How had it not been him, Sirius, who had made the move?

"Anything at all," Sirius answered.

The anything that Remus really wanted from Sirius was plain there on Remus's face.

 The others had come over at some point, their arrivals blurs in Sirius's memory. But there was Lily and James bantering as usual. James going on about when his own birthday was ("the 27th. yup.") and Lily was pressing a kiss onto Remus Lupin's cheek. "Thanks for being born, Rey," she said and he was turning quite red.

"Oi are you going to kiss me like that come the 27th?" James asked, excited.

"No, Potter, I'm not," Lily answered flatly. A moment later, she'd given Remus a second kiss on the cheek... 

"TWO kisses? You ruddy prat."

"Rey's just got it going on with the ladies, James. And also with the gentlemens." Gods, why was he such an idiot? Sirius wondered, why was he such an idiot to Remus about it? When the rawness of the moment was so plain on Remus Lupin's scarred face?

"I haven't got anything going on with the gentlemens yet," Remus replied.

"Well there you are, Rey, an absolute sea of prospects. Who do you fancy? I'll go and fetch them for you."

Remus's eyes had met Sirius's. And they held for several long moments as James explained why Remus should choose Andy Woodhouse and Peter pointed out the bucky teeth as though he were one to talk about bucky teeth.

"So c'mon, mate, out with it, who is it that you fancy?"

"I'm not telling you, you ruddy idiot."

"Why not!"

"Because...  I don't reckon he would feel the same way back."

"I'm betting that he's more camp than a row of tents.... the bloke's gayer than gay!"

"Even if he was gay - he'd probably turn me down based on how ugly I am."

Even now, even now watching the vision, Sirius could feel the wind knocked from him when Moony - his precious Moony - said those words. Remus - that perfectly lanky, beautiful-eyed boy - thought himself ugly? When that was so far from the truth? Sirius could've gone on for days about any feature of Remus Lupin's face. There were so many things that he admired about that face...