The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

You Will Always Be My Brother

James and Sirius walked down the street headed west through the neighborhood, crossing over into the park. Sirius had his hands in his leather jacket, and after awhile it was James who asked for a cigarette and Sirius handed it over without taking one for himself. It was a very, very long walk before either of them said anything besides the request for the cigarette, clear to Tower Bridge, and they were halfway across it when James paused on the sidewalk. His cigarette spent, James dropped it to the ground and knicked it out with his trainer before picking up the bent up butt and tucking it in his pocket.

Sirius leaned against the rail, looking off down the river to where it bent before going off toward the Ministry and on south of the city. It was cold and rather dismal out, not many tourists, and the time of the day meant there wasn't particularly many tourists about either. They were the only ones on the bridge at the moment, aside from rushing traffic, big red buses and little black cabbies scooting past. The quiet commotion was precisely what James had been after.

He leaned against the rail beside Sirius. 

"You see that spot right over there... that corner on the embankment, right by the Tower of London, where the wharf sort of juts out a bit?" James asked.

Sirius nodded.

"That's where Dad proposed to Mum the first time."

Sirius glanced at James, then back to the spot he was pointing to. "The first time?"

"Yeah. She said no." James grinned. 

"She did?" Sirius laughed and looked at James.

"She was already betrothed, see, and didn't think she had a choice. So she said no." James smiled, "He ended up breaking into her room at the estate where she was supposed to marry your --" he paused, "--Orion Black, that is." 

Sirius was quiet.

"We were destined to be brothers, you and me," James said, "One way or another."

Sirius looked down at the water.

"You've always had a brother in me."

Sirius kept his eyes downcast.

"Even when you and Regulus weren't getting along you had a brother in me, and I had a brother in you and in a way that's why Regulus means so much to me because it's like a having a second helping of you."

"Nobody wants seconds of me," Sirius murmured.

"Don't say things like that, Sirius. Not even joking."

Sirius pursed his lips and fumbled for his cigarettes and lighter now. He held out the box and James took one and Sirius lit them both, then stuck his into his mouth. 

James held the cigarette, and Sirius saw out of the corner of his eyes that James was letting it burn like old times. He took a drag finally, and lowered it so his arms hung over the top bar of the railing. "God, why is it so bloody hard to just say things?"

Sirius looked at him. "To say what things?"

"I've been a real dick to you."

Sirius wished he was feeling better, he could've turned that sentence into a hundred and one different euphemisms... but as-is all he could muster is, "That's not your job - your name isn't Remus."

James shook his head. "Sirius."

Sirius looked him in the eyes for a second, then looked away because the stare was too intense. The water was safer to look at.

"I've been a bad friend to you." James held up a hand, motioning for Sirius not to interrupt him. "You'd have every right to just set off at me when I tell you what I'm about to tell you, and I'd totally get it."