GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 94 : DESPERATION

Everything felt like a blur
The ambulance finally came after God knows how long

I wasn't at the right state of mind
Dread betraying my rationality

They immediately stepped up to speed
Thankfully, they came in time

Sam was still breathing, albeit weak and strained

That's great news! Sam is ok!
She's still fighting!
She will be fine Mon!
Calm down!

I was clutching my hands to my sides trying to clear my mind as much as I could to be present for Sam

They were asking so many things and said that there was water stuck at her lungs and they needed to get it out asap

They were performing CPR trying to make her vomit more water out

I told them that she already vomitted before and that made them ease the tension a bit... but I noticed not by much

They shouted to the driver the need to arrive at the soonest time possible and the driver complied

All this time all I could hear was the siren and the beeps of the machine and the sound of my grieving heart

I was stuck... Hopeless looking at the love of my life fighting for her life

This brought me so much dread and fear

It made me miserable!
I wanted to shout!
To cry out aloud!
I wanted to stay by her side!

But all those, I couldn't do
They needed to tend to Sam and I knew that I couldn't slow them down in any way
Time was of the essence!
We couldn't afford any delays!

So I was stuck at the edge of my seat
Begging... Praying... Bargaining for a miracle

I was ecstatic when they said that they have somehow managed to stabilize Sam but that she wasn't out of danger yet

That gave me momentary shots of joy and hope

They then proceeded to look after her other wounds and kept asking more questions
One after another in what felt like rapid fire grilling

They wondered how she had gotten those claw marks and bite marks

It was numerous deep and needed immediate attention

They were especially concerned about the bite marks on her shoulder

The EMTs were asking too questions i didn't want to answer

I was trying my best to answer, but it was so hard to think of ways to tell them without actually telling them that I was going crazy and she was trying to comfort me without them thinking that i was indeed crazy

It was wrong on so many levels

Plus my mind was already solely concentrated on Sam

It was hard to think of anything else when you see the love of your life suffering in front of you

It was especially hard with the underlying guilt that yes. It was me who hurt her to this degree and I had to accept that

I swallowed a bitter laugh and told them all that I know

How she and I might have swallowed a lot of water... Her more than me

Without actually telling them that Sam was trying to kill herself and how I was willing to do the same

and how the bite marks,
scratches and other small wounds were my fault without actually telling them how she got them

I was praying that they got the hint and would not probe any further