Clarissa Beheads The Villainess

[35] Blue Wills

The messages left behind by Astaroth, found by the sullen former-assassin currently in grieving while going through the deceased's stuff.

Vixen, Peter, Katherine, Orias & Clarissa read alone in their individual quarters.

Katherine,

I once wished you had eyes for me. I soon realized it was not romantic love I felt. Instead it was the pity one feels finding a baby bird who did not have wings to fly.
I do not like you, I admit. And this time I don't have to sugarcoat. Orias can't kill an already dead man.

Still, you are a dear friend. But as your friend I wish I could've helped you grow into someone who could stand alone. You are like a helpless baby forever. As long as the crow disease does not get to you first, you have time to change. Stop cowering in fear Katherine, soon enough you won't have anyone at your side to help you.

Clarissa doesn't like weaklings.

Katherine crumples the paper in her hand and throws it aside. One thing no one seemed to notice was the insecurity of hers that grew every time Clarissa is mentioned. Instead of helping that, Astaroth's dying note for her festers the insecurity.

Insecurity, guilt, mourning, anger. A rather negative combination. This time Katherine decides not to sit still and cry, but do something. Something that'll make Astaroth's dead soul eat his words.

 
 
Peter,

You're the reason I stayed sane in this place until Clarissa came along. Thank you for being who you are, I will miss the days of teasing you dearly. I hope the cunt Orias doesn't trouble you too much.

Can you do me a favor and piss in his soup if he says anything stupid to Clarissa?

I'll miss your cooking too. Sorry I couldn't stick around longer.

Peter puts down the note and laughs, a bittersweet one. He wipes a teary eye and returns to the kitchen. "I don't think I want to sleep knowing I've pissed in someone's soup before, Astaroth."
 
 

Orias fucking-Viertel

The duke started sobbing hard as soon as he read his name.

If you're crying now then know my ghost is laughing at you. You know, I didn't think I'd be writing a will before you. I would've bet one of my balls that you'd die before I do.

You're one of the lamest guys I've met, a deplorable one too. But you're my found family, and I would've lived like a gutter otter had your parents not taken me in. And you accepted me as did they. Thank you for being my family, until we see each other in hell.

The letter is then soiled with Orias' tears, to the extent that the ink begins to spread and is then eligible. He's read it once, and won't be reading it again.

 
 
Vixen,

Looks like the gods are in your favor. Go ahead, go win her heart. But only if she wants you.

Protect her for me.

You're the only person in the castle I can trust won't hurt her. I can't even trust Orias because he's been out of his mind lately. I have to admit, you're a better guy than me. Nice, level-headed, sane. I don't know anyone whose sane aside from you.

"I will honor your words, Astaroth." Vixen says softly as he tucks the note away in his desk. He recalls the bitter feeling when he talked with the young girl, Effrey. Most of all, he worries about Clarissa.
 
 

Clarissa sits on the cold floor of her quarters. The letter still closed, she shakes upon opening it, tears already streaming down her face, forming tiny puddles on the floor if not being soaked by her clothes.

Clarissa,
The most beautiful, strange soul I have had the honor to live amongst.

I write this early, while I still can. Tell me, did you ever grace me with your smile even once while I could breathe?  I keep imagining your smile. Would you smile with teeth? With tightly sealed lips? Do you have dimples?

"No, even during your final moments I could not smile."

I start to imagine a future with you. The two of us, exploring beyond the Golden kingdom. I've always wanted to see the bronze kingdom, I hear it's a mechanic's paradise. The silver kingdom too, for thieves who like a challenge.

I wish I had more time to spend with you. Just when it feels like I got past your cold exterior.

Do you love me Clarissa?

"I do."

Or am I still just someone from a story? Will you ever see any of us as more than characters?

Even if you see me as the lowest life form to exist in the vast many worlds that may be watching over us, I will still love you.

I love you.
 

After she cried till there were no tears left, Clarissa lights a tall candle and holds the letter above it, to let it burn.

"Death by fire is the purest death. I heard that in a show I once enjoyed a long time ago." She whispers, watching it burn slowly. "I'd love to watch that show with you one day, Astaroth."

"I love you."

 
  
The night was long and cold. The curtains of Astaroth's room dances with the wind as if he was standing there, looking out the window.

Clarissa longs to see that face again, left with too many regrets to handle. If I could smile for him, just once. Then we could both rest easy.

She prepares to head to the Golden Castle once again. "I'm sure the princess has missed me by now."