born to die | 니키

❥﹒第 21 章

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

I sat up straighter, a small surprised sound escaping me as I stared at the woman with newfound respect. "You're her?" I asked.

My tone seemed to pique the woman's interest, as her face lit up with curiosity. "Oh, I like the sound of that! What do they say?"

I didn't bother hiding my emotions, and my expression remained cold and monotone. "They say that you're a special-grade who never accepts any missions, and you're a good-for-nothing who's been wandering around abroad."

The light in her eyes suddenly dimmed, and she let out a scoff before throwing herself backward, leaning against the cool windows, and expressing her frustration. "I hate Jujutsu High!"

I blinked at the pouting woman, still struggling to process that she was a special-grade sorcerer. Soyeon leaned forward again, her gaze fixed straight ahead, much like mine when I had spoken with Haerin. "I'm joking. Though it's true that I don't get along with Jujutsu High's policies," she sighed.

"What they're doing is just treating symptoms, and I want to do something to treat the cause."

My ears perked up at her words. "Treat the cause?"

"Rather than hunt down cursed spirits," she said, spreading her legs and resting her elbows on her knees, "I want to create a world where cursed spirits aren't born."

And just like that, the voices, the worries, and the buzzing sound of clapping faded into the background. I stared at the woman in shock, my heart suddenly beating slower.

Don't waver.

"Care for a little lesson?" she asked, and I remained silent and unmoving. She continued, her eyes twinkling with passion for the subject. "What are cursed spirits to begin with?"

The question was easy. "They're creatures that take shape when cursed energy leaking from humans builds up like sediment."

Soyeon smiled at me. "Excellent. Now, this means there are two ways to create a world where cursed spirits aren't born."

"One: Eliminate cursed energy from mankind. Two: Make it possible for all of humanity to control their cursed energy," she explained, her passion evident. "I thought number one had a pretty good chance of working because there was a model case for it too."

"A model case?" My curiosity was piqued.

"Someone you know well." she said and I started piecing the pieces together. "Dejun Xiao."

"I've seen plenty of cases where a Heavenly Pact reduced a person's cursed energy to the level of you average person, but you could search the whole world only to find that he was the only case in which that cursed energy dropped to zero."

"That wasn't the only intriguing thing about him, either. Even though Dejun Xiao had zero cursed energy, he was able to perceive cursed spirits with his five senses, by completely casting aside cursed energy. His body drew a hard line and actually gave him great resistance to curses."

"He truly was superhuman." she sent me a sorry smile, as I replayed my fight with the man. "You shouldn't be ashamed of losing to him."

"I wanted to try studying him, but he turned me down. It was a real shame to lose him. And there aren't many people with Heavenly Pacts, so I'm currently favoring route number two, making it possible for all of humanity to control their cursed energy."

Soyeon fixed her gaze on me, and my mind struggled to process the weight of her words. "Did you know that cursed spirits aren't born from sorcerers?" She wore a sly grin as I turned to face her again. "Of course, that excludes cases where the jujutsu sorcerer turns themselves into a curse after death."

Her revelation hung in the air, and I found myself on the edge of my seat, eager to hear more.

"Compared to non-sorcerers, jujutsu sorcerers leak extremely little cursed energy. There's some variance based on the sorcerer's capacity and the amount of cursed energy their technique expends, but the main reason is their flow."

"Jujutsu sorcerers circular cursed energy through their own bodies well. To put it in rough, general terms: if all mankind were jujutsu sorcerers, curses wouldn't be born."

I had to look away, my gaze dropping to the floor, to conceal the tremor in my eyes. "Then you could solve it simply by killing all non-sorcerers." I mumble quietly.

Silence hung heavily in the air, and I found myself lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. Her words kept echoing in my mind, and I couldn't seem to shake them loose. "Haru," Soyeon's voice pierced the stillness, snapping me out of my reverie. "That's actually possible."

I panicked, realizing that she had heard my innermost thoughts, and I anxiously awaited her response.

"I mean, that's probably the easiest way to achieve it. Culling non-sorcerers and force them to adapt into sorcerers as a survival strategy. You would be forcing them to evolve using fear and danger, the same way birds gained wings." she lets out a breathy chuckle.

"But unfortunately, I'm not crazy enough to do that." She turns to me. "Do you hate non-sorcerers, Yang Haru?"

My lips trembled as I struggled to find the right words, and my breath quivered with uncertainty. The once-clear purpose of jujutsu sorcery, to protect non-sorcerers, had become muddied and complex in my mind.

I grappled with conflicting emotions—admiration for the weak and disdain for their vulnerability. The lines between these opposing feelings blurred, leaving me confused and torn. My path as a jujutsu sorcerer had lost its clarity, and I couldn't discern which emotions truly represented me anymore.

Soyeon's hand landed gently on my back, causing me to flinch. Her words weighed heavily on my thoughts as I grappled with my inner turmoil. "It's up to you now," she said softly, "what you choose will define your true feelings from this point onward."

I contemplated her words, trying to hold back tears that threatened to well up. She couldn't make this choice for me. I needed to decide which path to take, or I would spiral into madness.

"Don't waver," I whispered to myself, but the truth was I had already wavered.

I was born to die.