The Survivor

Chapter 28

Warning of blood and torture. Reader discretion advised

TICK TOCK. My gaze is at the ground, but I'm seeing him. I'm seeing the room where they would torture me for days on end. I'm seeing the hospital wing. I'm seeing the hospital room where they would cut me open and dissect me. TICK TOCK. TICK TOCK. TICK. TOCK.

"I killed them," my voice weak and pitiful. "I killed my team, my friends... my family," my voice is no louder then a mouse. "He killed them right infront of me. I could have saved them. I should've done what he wanted. I hear their screams at night when I sleep." TICK. TOCK. "I can hear them begging and pleading for their lives," I am now in full on tears.

"Who is this man that you're talking about?" Dr. Miller asks. TICK. TOCK. I can feel my breathing start to become heavier and heavier. Shorter and shorter. It feels like there's a weight on my chest, keeping my from being able to breath.

"I-I c-can't do th-this," I pant out. I grab my head, trying to stop the spinning and pounding. "Mace, take a deep breath," I hear Dr. Miller try to calm me down. I just shake my head. This feeling becoming too much. I can hear her but it sounds far away and muffled. The only thing I can hear is the clock ticking. TICK. TOCK. TICK TOCK.

No. I'm back. I don't want to be here. Anywhere but here. I'm half naked. Only wearing my black sports bra and black ripped up cargo pants. Their stained with blood and other body fluids. I look up to the door to see a clock. Tick Tock.

Two guards are holding me back. I franticly look around to see that I'm in the hospital room. There's blood splattered all over the concrete walls, floor, and even the ceiling. I look down to the metal table to see Tony. "Oh my gosh," I can barely get out. Tick Tock.

He's laying on a metal table with his hands bound to it. He's laying in a pool of his own blood. They dissected him. They literally opened him up and dissected him like a high school science experiment. I can't move. I can't move, I can't scream, I can't fight. Tick Tock. I can't do anything. His stomach is completely open. I can see his organs, I can see his heart. It's not beating anymore. Tick Tock.

I look down to my feet and see his liver. Hassan walks up to me, covered in blood from head to toe. He lifts up my chin with his bloody hands. Forcing me to look him in the eyes. But I can't look away from Tonys drained body. "You wanna tell me now princess? This is all on you. You killed him, you let this happen. And now, you'll pay," Hassan say. I can feel flaming hot tears roll down my face uncontrollably. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

I'm back. I'm back! I'm sitting on the couch in the counseling room. My breathing is short and ragged. My eye's frantically scan the room. Looking for him. I can't hold it back any longer. I just burst out crying. "Mace, Mace I want you to look at me." I look down to see Dr.Miller kneeling infront of me. "Mace, do you know where you are?" She asks. All I can do is nod my head.

"Where are you?" She asks in a calming voice. "Ho-Houst-on." I sound like a broken record. I close my eyes shut and squeeze them. "Good, good. I want you to touch your side. Can you tell me what you feel?" She asks again. I reach to the side of me and feel a soft material, nothing was soft there. "It's a couch," I get out. "Good. Mace, I want you to count to thirty-five with me. Ok?" I nod my head in response to her.

"O-one," I choke out. "Good, two." I can feel my self starting to calm down a little. "Thr-three." I can hear Hassan, he's in my head. "Twenty six down, one to go," he says with a vicious grin. "No," I squeak out. "Hey, focus on counting. Nothing else. Four," Dr.Miller continues. "Fi-five." "Six." We go back and forth until she finally gets me to calm down. We counted to thirty-five four times. That's 140 times it took for me to calm down.

"How do you feel?" Dr.Miller asks. "Drained," I respond. She's back in her chair and I'm back to breathing normally. "Panic Attacks will do that to you. Did you see something?" She asks. I shake my head and look down to the floor. "Was it when you were being held captive?" She asks. I nod my head in response. "What set you off?"

"I don't know." "Was it something that I said?" She questions with a raised eyebrow. "No," I answer. I look over to the clock. Tick Tock Tick Tock. Dr.Millers gaze now turns to the clock. "Was it the clock?" She asks. "He was dissected," I tell her. "Who?" She asks. "My brothers girlfriend," I start. "Her brother, his name was Tony. He was nineteen. It was his second mission with us. They dissected him, and Hassan made me watch. There was a clock," I tell her.

"Does she know? Your brothers girlfriend?" Dr.Miller pushes. I shake my head. "I can't bring myself to tell her. I could have saved him. But I didn't," I utter the last bit. "I killed him," I whisper. "You can't expect to save everyone Mace. You didn't kill him. Look," she sighs and leans forward in her chair. "Sometimes, bad things happen and we have no control over it. You had no control," she says.

But I could have given Hassan what he wanted. I could have turned and worked for him. If I became his soldier, maybe my team would still be alive and with their family's. Hassan wanted me to be his soldier, he wanted me to infiltrate and assassinate. But I refused. I wouldn't kill for that monster. Yet, if it was to save my team, I would do it.