Slow Hearts

Ivy; Rain

I got home after my embarrassing encounter with the blonde one. I couldn't help but scream into my pillow as I recall crying into his chest. I cried onto a chest of a boy I hardly know. Oh my god I'm a lost cause. I start to lose it. I grab my diary and start writing all of my day into it which helps soothes my nerves. I couldn't help but smile while rethinking about our encounter after the tears were shed. I made a friend. An actual friend. I couldn't wait to tell my cousin when she came back to visit. For the first time I felt a bit excited about this. A new experience for once in my mundane life. I lay in bed as I scroll mindlessly on Pinterest trying to find a new recipe to attempt when I get a notification from Instagram. Huh? I tap the notification just to see that Mateo has started following me. When did he get my Instagram I wondered. I follow him back but couldn't help to stalk his posts. I mean if it's public it's not stalking. I instantly see a bunch of what could be model pics. He's so pretty. I stalk his highlights which just consist of more selfies, pictures with his dad and brothers and friends. He really is a bubbly person. Before I could stalk more I get a message "Heyy stalker" I jump a little at the message. I reply back asking how he knew I was looking at his highlights and he responds with "Because I would have done the same if u had stuff posted ☹️". Maybe I should post a selfie or something. "Sorry" I respond with. We start texting back and forth and before I knew it, it's 1AM. Shit I gotta sleep eventually. I tell the blondie I need to sleep and he responds with three sad emojis which makes my eyes roll and chuckle a bit. I lock my phone and set it on my desk and try to sleep, only it's hard too now. I couldn't help but want to talk more. It's nice having someone to talk to it almost distracts me from the pain I have.
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"IVYYY" I hear my mom yell with all her might. Shit I'm going to be late, I rush into a hoodie with sweats and quickly brush my teeth and brush my wild hair. I grab my socks and shoes and hold them in hand as I make my way to the car with bare feet so I can put them on in the car. I sit in the back of course always away from the mother who oh so hates me. She blames me for the death of her baby. Despite me having nothing to do with it. It's a cruel world we live in. I watch outside the car window as I get another notification. I smile as I see it's Mateo again. "Goooooodmorning are you late or are you avoiding me" He texts me. I respond with "I'm definitely avoiding you" with a little smirk which I quickly get rid of since my mom is eyeing me through her little mirror. I sit up straight and finally we arrived. I get out and as usual before I can turn around the car is gone. In a way it's embarrassing you would think that car had a random uber driver in it but no it's my mom. I turn to the face the dreaded stairs leading up to the castle looking of a school. What a joke. I make my way into the castle like building and instantly see blondie. "Heyy" he says with a big wave. I wave back and watch as he makes his way to me. "How are you feeling?" He says with eyes as sparkling as they were that Saturday. "Could be better, I have a blonde puppy following me now" I say laughing a bit which takes him aback. "I'm a puppy now? Ok I'll let that slide since you smiled" He says while pretending to hold his chest from the "pain" I inflicted. "So what's your first period?" he asked me. "Uhhh today it's math and It starts in a few minutes" I say while sighing, I've never been good at math and I don't think I ever will be. "I love math!" he says with a grin. "You love math? Oh my god this blondie is insane!" I say with a dramatic expression. "Haha blondie ok I need a name for you hmm" He says while inspecting every inch of my body which makes me tighten up. A bright smile flashes on his face but before he could say his nickname for me he was interrupted by. "Jay?" I say while looking behind Mateo. Mateo turns around and notices Jay. "Hey jay!" Mateo says. Yet Jay doesn't acknowledge him he is staring at me instead. "Can I talk to you Ivy?" Jay says with a smile that's dangerous. I couldn't but feel that everybody in the hallway is staring at us now. Blondie, Jay and me. I shrug "ok but I have first period soon so make it quick I beg". "I'll tell you what I have in mind of what to call you later ivy" Mateo says with a blank expression that shows a faint smile. I watch as he walks away hands in his pockets down the castle hallways. I follow jay to a different hallway when he finally blurts out "why are you hanging with him?" he says with a cold expression. Excuse me? What the fuck this is my life sir not yours. "Because I can? Who are you to ask?" I say with a colder expression. "Oh come on don't be like that Ivy" He says with a smile. His dark hair and brown eyes are not bad to look at it but when he opens that mouth it's all wasted. "You remember when we used to be friends?" he asks with a soft voice. I do. I do remember and I wish I didn't but I do. "Yes" I say while playing with my loose strands. "Why can't we go back to friends Ivy" he says with a sad expression that melts my heart. "That's up to you, you're the reason we stopped so become the reason we are friends again." I say rolling my eyes. He pulls me in for a hug but I refuse. "No" I say while looking at him. "It's too early for hugs" I say stepping back. I start walking back to the direction of my class when I hear, "Yet you hugged him" he says with a sigh. I turn around in shock, did he see me cry onto Mateo? "So? does it matter?" I say with a shrug trying to not overthink the fact that he saw me cry on him. "I wish you could just give me another chance please I'm sorry Ivy It's been too long" he says in a low voice. "Fine" I say with a sigh and I walk over to hug him. I can feel his body release the tension he had all this time. Yet I feel his arms go tighter around me. He finally pulls away and says "thank you" and I give him a smile and tell him I gotta run to my class now with a laugh. He laughs back and says he will see me during lunch. I make my way to class smiling. I have 2 friends now. Maybe this year will be better? But oh I was so wrong.