Slow Hearts

Hurt *Mateo*

I stared at the phone in shock. I felt hurt but couldn't understand fully why. It's not a shock that Jay likes Ivy, it's a shock of why do I care? She's only my friend anyways. Yet I can't help but feel disappointed. I stared at the rose I bought for her. I should've asked sooner. I stare at the ceiling when I hear a knock. It's Finn. "Are you ok?" I hear him say as he walks over to me. I sit up and don't say anything. "I'll take that as a no then" He says while sitting next to me. "Aren't you going to that dance tomorrow with Ivy?" He says with a smile not knowing that we aren't. I go silent. "You aren't?" He says a bit startled. "Why not? I thought you two were close." He says with a sigh. "Jay asked her already and she said yes to him" I say sounding even more upset.

"Oh I see, does she like Jay?" Finn says. "I'm not sure, but she's just my friend so why-" before I could finish he interrupts with "why do you care right?" He says with a smile. "You like her, duh" I hear my older brother Cameron says as he walks in. A big smile plastered on his face. "I'm not sure if I do" I say looking at her message still. "Oh come on you're head over heels for her just admit it" I hear Justin say. When did everyone suddenly know my own feelings? I felt a bit annoyed but they're just trying to help me. "I don't think she sees me that way." I say softly trying not to make eye contact with either of my brothers. "You're not direct that's why" Finn says. "You're being too friendly and not direct to the point where she knows your motives" Finn continues to lecture me. "Jay has been flirting with her openly, that's why she's going with him but you could've went with her if you had just been direct with your feelings" Finn goes on.

I feel anger build up within me. Who the fuck does he think he is. I'm not a fucking pussy, she's my friend and that's it. I rush downstairs and take my dad's car keys and start up the car before my brothers can stop me. I start up the car and rush to her. She's all I can think about right now. It's midnight but I don't care. I reach her place and ignore the dozens of missed calls from my family. I knock on her door and brace myself for her.

She opens the door but she's wearing makeup, she looks even more beautiful. I look at her and try to catch my breath. "What are you doing here Mateo? Is that your car?" She asks but sounds more like a demand. "I needed to see you and no that's my dads I stole it" I say with a smile. "Mateo are you out of your mind what's so important you couldn't just text me?!" She asks while looking furious. She looks even more adorable like this. I pull her to me and hug her. "Go to the dance with me instead" I plead with her. "I can't I said I would go with Jay" she looks at me with pity. "I like you" I blurt out with extreme motions coming over me.

I watch as her eyes widen and she looks at me in shock. Fuck fuck fuck I ruined it. I ruined it all. She is speechless. She looks at me and tries to form words but nothing comes out. I shouldn't have said it. Once you say it, it becomes real. It's now really much real.. "V I didn't mean" I start to say but she is looking at me in a way I never seen before. "Just forget what I said please" I start to say and walk away before she pulls on my sleeve. She is silent still but her eyes are filled with sadness. I made things worse. I just wanted her to be happy but I went and ruined it.

"Please say something V, anything?" I ask but she's still frozen. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!" She demands with tears in hers. Her pretty eyeliner getting ruined by me. "You waited until Jay asked me to tell me this?, What am I supposed to do with that Mateo?" She asks softly. My head falls down as my heart starts to throb. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it until now" I begin to say but she doesn't want to hear anymore. She looks at me and says "It's not fair to me for you to do this" as she closes the door.

I head into the car and anger fills me from within. It's all ruined.