Darling

(22) Thoughtless

Chapter 22

-Kimi-

Since I was stuck here for another night I thought I'd make the best of it. I've decided to actually go out into the city and enjoy myself. I lived here before SHIELD picked me up but it was always for a purpose. Like there was never time for anything. That is until I met Dustin. I always tried to make time for him.

Speaking of Dustin, I should go and visit him. I'll go after ice skating, or maybe even ask him to come with me.

I headed out of the guest room and into the common room where Barton had just turned on the TV and Captain Rogers was settled on the couch reading a book. It was quiet despite the TV that was on low volume.

"Hey, I just wanted you guys to know I'm going ice skating." I didn't have any ice skates and its been a while since my last time on the ice so I'm really just hoping it all comes back to me.

"That should be fine. Just be back before the meeting." Captain Rogers said after exchanging a glance with Barton.

"Which one are you going to?" Barton asked. I shrugged.

"The nearest one I guess." I turned to leave with my bag in hand. Once so exited the tower I walked to the nearest subway station while simultaneously googling the nearest ice skating rink. It actually wasn't too far from where I am now. I decided to just walk it and work off all the food from last night.

When I finally arrived at the ice skating rink I ignored the the very interesting smell and went up to the desk. I paid my fee and borrowed a pair of ice skates. They probably wouldn't be half as good as some new ones would be but I guess they could be worse.

When I first slid onto the ice I wobble- like a lot. I ended up holding onto the side for a little bit before I regained some of my confidence and skated out into the center. I was okay but no where near the average ice skater.

For the third time in the last hour I slipped and plopped down onto my ass. I don't even know why I'm torturing myself like this. I began pushing myself up when I saw a big group of children just outside the ice. They were no older than eight and were probably on a field trip or something.

Maybe they're beginners, I thought. Maybe they'll be worse than me, I thought. It hurt how wrong I was. And sure it was pretty mean to want them to suck, but they were pretty damn good.

I was now on my feet trying to skate without trampling any of the children. One of them even brought me one of the assistance things and asked if I needed it...

|*|

Okay so somehow I have become their student and they are teaching me the ways of the ice and the skating. Apparently first order of business is them tying my skates for me. The second; teaching me how to get up when I fall. The third; teaching me how to push of and glide. And finally the fourth teaching me to turn...

Well you learn something new everyday.

All the kids had to go and eat lunch, leaving me alone with only a few other skaters. I decided it was time to go now. I'm not even sure when that meeting is suppose to start.

|*|

I arrived on the common floor of the tower to check in with whoever was there. Captain Rogers and Barton were still in the same places I left them.

"Hey, I'm back." Said getting their attention.

"How was the ice skating?" Barton asked.

"Besides the fact that my ass is probably bruising by now, it was pretty good. Have you guys even moved an inch since I left?" I quipped. I grabbed the pitcher of water and the glass cup sitting next to it to pour myself a sip.

"Yeah, for the meeting." I made a face. I drank a sip of my water before answering.

"How long was I gone for?" I asked, rhetorically of course, but I guess I still have yet to know Clint Barton.

"Couple hours. Funny thing is though, no one mentioned you." I guess he was expecting a different reaction because I kinda sorta high fives myself.

"The meeting was probably gonna be boring anyway. I'll see you guys later." I said. Before I turned to leave I glanced at the TV and did a double take. Was that Dustin? Barton followed my gaze.

"Kimi, isn't that-"

"Turn it up." I demanded as I got closer to watch. Dustin's face was at the bottom of the screen and then live footage from what seems to be my apartment building. The only thing different about it was the boy standing on the edge and the crowd below. 

"Kimi-" I dropped my bag.

"Meet me there." I said before grabbing Captain Rogers. "I need you to throw me." I told him as I dragged him out to the balcony.

"I'm not going to-"

"That boys life is at stake and I don't know about you but that is one life I am not going to risk. Now are going to sit around and do nothing?! C'mon be a hero. Save a life. Throw me!" I shouted at him. I guess the talk worked because not even seconds later I found myself flying over to the next building. I crash landed on the roof and began running from there. There was too much traffic down below and I needed to get there as fast as possible.

I began pushing myself faster than I do from enemy fire. Leaping from roof to roof. I was so close to the rooftop he was on.

When I got onto the rooftop I ran towards him.

"DUSTIN!!" I shouted. And then everything seemed to going in slow motion. He turned at the sound of him name and stumbled back. The horror on his face when he felt himself falling was something I never want to see again.

I wasn't thinking when I jumped after him. I wasn't thinking when I held him tight enough to suffocate him. I wasn't thinking when I turned my body to hit the roof of the car instead of him. After everything went black, I couldn't think anything. If I could I would wonder how I could be so thoughtless and thoughtful at the same time. All I could do was see. I saw all of my forgotten and lost memories.

In the first part I saw myself as a five year old child. Standing in a line behind another girl not daring to look up at the man that stared at me. In the second part I saw myself a few years older. About eleven or twelve. I saw myself shooting someone. Emptying the entire clip into their body and staring at the corpse.

I recognized the person I was shooting. He was a Green Room participant. Thomas. His group was taking a trip over to the Blue Room and out of the blue, he said my soulmate words. He said them but it wasn't his place. I killed him for what he did. And never once did I feel remorse for that action.

The third part was a bit more confusing to me. There were two babies. Newborns. And I was holding them sobbing. A few seconds later Addy and a few nurses came in. Adelaide took the children and I didn't even put up a fight. The nurses did something to me. They made me forget...

______

Hmmm something fishy going on in Kimi's head...