Rose, Not Rosie (A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter 19: Regrets and Forgotten Keys

Rose's POV-

To say I feel bad right now would be a major understatement. I know what I did was wrong, but that doesn't give them the right to just walk away. They can't just leave me like that. 

They're allowed to. You did something bad again. Why do you keep screwing everything up? My mind continues to pester me with terrible thoughts as I stare down the empty hallway the boys disappeared down, hoping that maybe they were just kidding and they'll laugh as they walk around the corner, making fun of the face I'm making.

After figuring out that they really aren't coming back I slowly walk back into my room, ignoring Nurse Langer's questions. I lock the door behind me and slide down against the it. I just want to be alone, but it's so hard to escape my thoughts. They're like gnats, continuing to pester me even after I try to swat them away. 

I'm not sure why I'm not happy at the moment. Isn't that what I wanted anyway?

Maybe Harry was right, maybe I was being stubborn.

No. No, that can't be right; I have good reason to still be upset. 

Do you though? They've apologized so many times to you.

Yeah, but they lied to me and they continued to lie to me over the course of three months little apologies aren't enough anymore.

It's not like they've only given you tiny apologies; each one of the boys has gone out of their way to try and win you back.

Yeah, and I didn't want them back then. Now that they're gone though I regret everything- all of my stupid decisions and getting mad over something that really doesn't matter anymore. I know, deep down, that all of those little moments we all had were real and that they really did care about me.

But they're gone now.

I lay down on the bed and pull the covers up over my head, trying to shut out everything bad in the world. And, as expected, that didn't seem to help me one bit. 

***

The yellow taxi I'm sitting this morning in isn't nearly as inviting and comfortable as the limo the boys picked me up in on our first day. On top of sitting here with an unpleasant seat belt digging into my back, it's dreary and grey outside, the skies threatening to erupt into rain showers any second now. Nurse Langer forced one of the hospital security men to accompany me to the orphanage because she didn't want me alone in the cab. He's sitting in the front seat beside the driver, looking bored as ever. I conclude that he's probably around Simon's age with brown hair that has little chunks of grey throughout. But don't tell Simon I said that. 

"So I s'pose you're the one that pranked the One Direction lads right under my nose?" He chuckles, trying to break the silence.

I nod, "Yeah, that was me." My voice is quiet, unlike my usual loud and energetic personality. It's weird to be this sad over those boys because it's not like they're dead. They just didn't want me and that's a hard fact to accept.

"Well you're one mischievous little girl. Certainly looks like that bunch has met their match!"

If only I was still with them. "Yeah, they sure did." I comment absentmindedly before turning towards the window and staring outside. The security guard got the hint and dropped our 'conversation.' 

I'm left with a ton of time on my hands to think about everything and let it all sink in, but what happens is the exact opposite. My mind is a blank slate and as hard as I try to think about the boys I can't. It's like my brain has shut down and won't respond to any of my commands.