The Selected | Cashton [DISCONTINUED]

Thirty Eight ; Nonexistent

Ashton didn't know what to do. Calum had been pacing in front of him for the past ten minutes. They had taken themselves to the back room to shut themselves off from the rest incase they happened to wake up in the middle of their nonexistent conversation at the moment. The silence was deafening and Ashton wanted to break it, to put all the blame onto him and have it over with. Except everything is much more difficult now. Two people who are interested in each other having the option of doing something about it, but not knowing if it would be a good choice or not.

"Are you just going to pace back and forth?" Ashton question, leaning back further into the sofa and crossing his arms against his chest. Calum stopped his movements and turned around the face the sun-kissed boy. Calum didn't know what to say to him. He was angry, but also amazed that his drunken self had made out with Ashton Irwin and didn't remember one thing about it.

"Explain." Calum finally demanded, figuring that was a good enough start for all of this.

"Which part?"

"There were more than one part? What did we do?" Calum asked with wide eyes, not believing there was more than them just kissing.

"Uh," Ashton smiled sheepishly, scratching at the nape of his neck. "We almost had sex too?" Ashton said, but it came out more like a question.

"We did what!?" Calum exclaimed, not believing what Ashton was saying once again. They almost had sex or had done something sexual with one another, they had made out, and this all happened on the night Calum first experience alcohol and now he'll never end up drinking it again. Not if this if the outcome for him. "Why would you keep this from me?"

"I didn't want things to get weird. Best mates don't go out for a drink and then end up hooking up at the end of the night. If you hadn't passed out on the bed before I got my pants off who knows what would've happened."

"I can't believe I fell asleep," Calum laughed awkwardly, "What a mood killer I am. It explains my singleness."

"I still don't understand how you are." Ashton mumbled, he started digging his phone out of his pocket to check his notifications and to see if there's anything important he needs to have done for the day when he heard Calum loudly clear his throat. "Yes?"

"I didn't say we were done talking." Calum rolled his eyes, perching his hand on his hip as he stared down at Ashton.

"I didn't think you were the boss of me." Ashton sassed back.

"Ugh," Calum groaned, "Tell me why you kept it a secret and leave this best mate bullshit out of it because we're definitely not that if you look back at how we've been getting along these past what, two weeks?"

Ashton stood up to his full height, hovering over Calum's shorter frame. "You want to know why?"

Calum nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat as Ashton inched closer. "Please."

Ashton's demeanor changed as he rose a hand and cupped Calum's face, rubbing small light circles against the kiwi boys face. "You were there and we both ended up in such vulnerable states and I internally fought with myself that it wasn't right, but when you kissed me I knew I was screwed. You're just so beautiful. I wanted every inch of you, but I knew that I couldn't. I shouldn't want someone as much as I want you." Ashton breathed, his warm breath clouding all of Calum's thoughts. They were so close and Calum could barely breathe. "When you didn't remember in the morning I figured it was a sign. That I didn't deserve you because of what happened so I tried to let it go, but you are just always there and I can't do anything about it."

Calum leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Ashton's cheek, smiling widely at singer in front of him. "You should've just told me. I would've understood."

"Don't lie." Ashton tsked, eyes shining as he smiled at Calum.

"Okay, you caught me. I probably would've freaked out like I did today, but now you've learned your lesson not to keep things from me."

"I have indeed." Ashton smirked, pulling Calum in for a tight hug. "At least this was settled. Now we can go back to this bump in the road not existing because we all know I'm a piece of shit."

Calum pulled back an inch to look Ashton in face. "Wait–What?"

"Well, I confessed my attraction to you and now we're moving on as we should."

"No, no, no."

"Um, yes. You deserve better than what I have to offer." Ashton told him truthfully, knowing he really was a piece of shit and Calum deserved so much better even if he did want him.

"I'll be the judge of that." Calum argued, he wasn't letting Ashton off that easy. Not when it was about something possibly happening between them.

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what even is this chapter

idk I'm tired and there's a Ben and Jerry's icecream cake in my freezer for my birthday tomorrow and I really just want to eat it rn. the struggle

Anyway I might come back to this later an edit it ....Thanks for reading cuties ❤️