Wings of an Angel ||niall horan||

Chapter 30

Five Years Ago.

I hated who I was.

I hated the fact that Jax touched me.

I hated the fact I was alive.

With each step into school, I trembled. I felt sick, I wanted to cry, hell I wanted to die. Hey Nor!" Shelby Wilkins ran up to me, I clutched onto my books tighter. Shelby was one of closer friends, we both tried out for cheer and failed miserably. We bonded over that and have been friends since but now it all feels different. I wondered if I looked different to her, sadder, completely out of it. I wanted to tell her but then again I didn't. Maybe she'd say something.

"Your party was so much fun. Tying in old school games, absolutely genius." I swallowed as my breathing quickened. "I mean everyone left with a smile on their face. How did you get Jax Richards to come to your party? I mean he is the hottest junior and a bad boy. Oh my goodness, Karli nearly shit herself when she found out. She's been trying for years to come to any of her parties and then he goes to yours." Her smile broke off as she looked at me, "You okay?"

My breath hitched, this is my chance my shot to tell her everything. And then I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't have to be ashamed.

But before I could respond, a voice filled my eyes and stopped my heart.

Jax.

"Hey J! The team and I were wondering if you were going to tryout for varsity for next tear."

"Not a chance. Me play football? Ha. No coordination in my bones." His chuckle once made me swoon but now I wanted to vomit.

"Let us know if you change your mind."

"Will do." His voice was growing closer and closer. Then I felt his breath on my neck. I held onto my books even tighter.
"Hello ladies. How's it hanging?"

He must of winked at Shelby because she giggled, "You really should consider football. You would be the star!"

He chuckled, my stomach turned. "That's very kind but I have to use my stamina for something much more," he paused and his other hand was on my lower back, "Demanding."

I closed my eyes, "I have to go. Thank you so much for coming to my party, Shelbs. I appreciate it."

I walked down the hallway, turned right and into the out of order bathroom. No one else was in it. I dropped my books to the floor and started sobbing. I should've stayed home today. I should've told my mom I wasn't wanting to face anyone.

I cried out in frustration as I realized there would be no way to avoid him. His parents were good friends with mine and they had dinner together, and they were having dinner tonight. I should tell my dad that it was Jax.

But what good would it do? Call our lawyer and have this go to court? No thank you.

"Nora!" My mother hugged me when I walked into the kitchen after school. She had two cookbooks open on the counter and a notepad.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" Her eyes casted a worried look.

I shook my head "I'm fine."

"I was thinking that maybe I can do your hair just like old times and we can style it pretty for the dinner. Mark and Kelly are bringing dessert this time. So I'm making some pasta dish or whatever sounds good."

"Don't worry about my hair. I've got lots of homework and I'd like to just get it done."

"Do you want to pick out the recipe? You always love doing that?"

I shook my head.

"Oh come on, silly. You use to love this."

"Key word being use to."

"Do you want to help me cook it? Your father will be home soon and-"

"Can you stop?" I bursted.

Her face fell, "Honey," she reached out to touch me.

I flinched and backed away "Please. Stop. Stop acting like everything is going back to normal. Mom, i'm sorry. I just need to process everything."

She nodded, slowly, "of course. I'm sorry for pushing. Would you still come to the dinner?"

I swallowed, I did not want to but I know I needed to be with my family even if that monster is sitting across from me. "Yeah. I'll be there."

She cupped my face, "You're my brave girl."

I made a smile and headed upstairs to do my Spanish homework. The difference between Ser and Estar was hurting my brain after two and a half hours. I realized I needed to get ready.

The dinner is a big deal around here. Everyone dresses up and we all act like we have no problems and we're the perfect families. If I didn't dress up, it would let him win. And I'd be damned if I keep letting him get to me. He's ruined me enough. The Spanish homework would have to wait.

I changed out of my tee-shirt and jeans and into a purple sweater and a floral skirt. I retouched the curls that were looser. I looked at my face and I saw it all. All the pain, I could still feel his hands and his breath --

I turned away in disgust. "Pull yourself together dammit. Its going to be okay. Eventually."

When I heard the door bell go off, I took a deep breath and headed downstairs. Part of me felt like a cow going to to the slaughterhouse.

I heard all of them laughing and having a great time. Kelly was probably commenting on the new candle my mom got. And my dad and Mark were probably discussing the next bug football game. And that leaves him.

"My god! Samantha, your daughter is stunning!" Kelly exclaimed as I entered the living room.

Don't look for him. Don't.

"Thank you." I said.

"I agree." Jax whispered in my ear. "You look beautiful."