You are a drug and it is quick

Chapter Twenty-Three

Abby sat in Carly and Isaac's living room with Carly, Kelly and the twins. The guys were at the office and so the ladies decided it was time they finally get together for some girl talk. Abby had been back in Oklahoma for over a week now, but Kelly and Carly had given her a little space for a few days so she could settle back in, and to have the alone time they were sure she needed given everything going on in her life. Finally though, they insisted she meet them for a coffee date so that they could all catch up.

They spent the first hour or so admiring the babies while Carly hashed out all of the details on giving birth. Kelly couldn't stop asking questions due to her ever growing desire to start a family with Taylor, and Carly was happy to answer every single one of them. Eventually though, and inevitably, the conversation steered toward Abby and Zac. Carly would have gladly avoided the topic forever, knowing it was a touchy subject, but leave it to Kelly to finally bring it up. She was never one to hold back.

"So Abs, have you spoken to Zac?"

"No." Abby shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. "Not since the first night we got back." She hadn't exactly told her friends what had happened that night and she wasn't sure if she should.

"Girl, I know you're hurting but...so is he. Maybe you should cut him some slack?" Kelly suggested.

"It's not that simple. I am so over cheaters and liars. I was married to one, remember? I can't just forgive him and go back down that same road with Zac."

"I just don't understand how you can stay mad at Zac, but you forgave Adam."

"Who says I forgave him?"

"Well the fact that you guys had started sleeping together for the last few days before you came home kind of gave me that impression..."

"I never forgave him. Did I think he had actually changed? Yes. But he and I sleeping together...it wasn't like that. Not what you think. We weren't together and I had no intentions on ever getting back together with him. Those feelings are long gone. If I'm being totally honest, I just wanted someone to fill that void, because I was missing Zac so much, and was so mad at him...Adam was convenience, nothing more."

"So you were using him?"

Abby shrugged. "I guess you could say that. I mean...I truly did think we had turned a corner and could at least be friends. But none of that other stuff meant anything. But now I know I was stupid to think we could ever be friends and that he would ever actually change, though. In fact, he's so much worse than he was before."

"I get that what he did was horrible, but...you using him for sex, throwing yourself at your ex as soon as things go wrong with your boyfriend...how does that make you any better than Zac?"

"Kelly!" Carly hissed.

"What are you trying to say, Kel?" Abby asked, feeling defensive. Was Kelly really siding with Zac right now?

"I'm saying that you have every right to be upset with Zac, but what you did is basically the same thing he did! You thought he cheated on you, so you ran into the arms of your ex."

"The difference here is that I never actually cheated, he did. Adam and I didn't hook up until a month after Zac and I were broken up."

"But he thought you cheated, Abby. I get that he was stupid to believe Adam, but...it was a quick reaction and he realized he shouldn't have believed him after he calmed down, and he stopped things with Kate before they went too far!"

"It doesn't matter." Abby shook her head and stared into her coffee cup. She couldn't even look at her friend, she wasn't sure if she would explode with anger or start to cry. "I can't even believe I'm hearing this from you right now."