Learning to Live Again

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Noah's Point of view.

Seeing as how no one I've ever really know before has died Sam's funeral was the first one I ever attended. I absolutely hated it.

The small group of people that were there, including me, were wearing all black. The few flowers that surrounded his casket were darker colors. Everything about it screamed depressing. Sam would have resented just like me. He liked bright colors, his favorite being yellow. That's why I forced Miss Joy, one of the caretakers at the orphanage, to let me wear a bright yellow tie in Sam's honor.

The service was short, the preacher was an older man with a crackling voice and graying hair. I've never been the type to go to church but John, a boy a few years younger than me , said he worked at the church just up the road from us. When he said that I was pretty content with continuing skipping church. Something about the older man just freaked me out a little.

Next came the part where we got to say our last goodbyes. I really wanted to go up and say goodbye but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Just picturing his pale skin whiter than usual, his once bright and bubbly spirit filled body laying motionless in the cheap black casket, brought me to tears.

I rush out of the medium sized room and to the closest bathroom I can find. I lock the door behind me once I see I'm alone and fall to the ground. That's when I let it all out.

This was the first time I cried all day. I was trying to be strong, I hate it when people think of me as some weak kid who's emotionally unbalanced, but right now I needed to cry. It's the only thing I felt like doing.

There was a knock at the door. I jump and stare up at the jiggling door knob.

"Just a minute.." I mumble standing up and brushing off my black dress pants. I take a deep breath and calm myself down a bit.

I glance in the mirror and frown at my reflection. I look sick. My eyes are red and puffy, black circles ring around then, and I'm paler than usual.

I grab a few paper towels and wet them. I quickly rinse off my face and dry it. Then the person knocks again.

"Hurry up, I really got to go!" his voice was unfamiliar which was odd, Sam never talked about anyone and usually only people you were close to come to your funeral.

I take another deep breath and unlock the door.

"Maybe learn to be patient..."I mumble as I pass the stranger.

"I'll learn to be patient when you learn to not lock public bathrooms."

I turn on my heel to look at the guy. He was taller than me by quite a few inches. His black hair slightly covered one of his gray blue eyes.

"Well maybe if this funeral wasn't for the best friend I ever had and ever will have, I wouldn't be crying! Then I wouldn't have to lock the fucking bathroom door!" this shut him up.

I expect him to say something else but he gives me an apologetic smile and enters the bathroom.

That's the last thing I wanted, people to show me kindness because of what happened. I don't want people feeling even more sorry for me than they already do. I'm strong I can handle things myself.

I don't see the guy again in fact I'm pretty sure he left after the bathroom incident. Which I was fine with, he smelled like smoke. I'm not sure how he knew Sam but I hope they weren't very close...he seemed like the bad ass type. Sam was much too good to hang out with someone like him.

The funeral ends shortly after I return to the main room where Sam's body is. Next we, a group from the orphanage that befriended Sam and Miss Joy, travel to his grave.

His tombstone was simple it read, Sam Timothy Parks, then it had the date he was born and the day he died. It may have been simple but for some reason it just suited Sam. It was surrounded by some bright yellow daisies, his favorite flower.

A few more tears escape my eyes and I have to leave before the burial. I feel pretty guilty, I'm the one that made him sneak out in the first place then I can't even stay at the funeral the whole time. That's when it dawns on me.

It's all my fault Sam's dead. If I would have killed myself before I met him he'd be alive right now. He deserves to live. Not me.

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Yay shortest chapter in the history of my stories! Okay I've written much shorter ones....

So I'll try to get chapter five up in two days..I'm kinda grounded right now so something might happen and I might not be able to..so yeah..

Thanks for all the votes and comments! I'd love it of each chapter would get at least ten but its still pretty newish and kind of short so yeah... Thanks again ^^