Learning to Live Again

Chapter Eleven

Chapter eleven.

"Because I can't." I don't know whats come over me but I can't let him do that. Sam would want him to be alive. I'm not going to disappoint Sam.

"Well you can't be with me every second of everyday. I'll just do it tonight." Noah hisses.

"Nope." I smile just a little. "Because if you do kill yourself you won't be able to live for Sam."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means you live life the way Sam would have wanted so when you do die he'll be proud." I feel as if someone is talking for me. I'm no longer in control of what comes out of my mouth. "Sam didn't get the chance to stay alive. You do. Don't waste that." Suddenly I'm not even in control of my actions because I'm cupping his face and wiping away his tears with my thumbs.

"So you're saying to l-live as if Sam was living with me?" Noah Stutters.

I nod and smile at him. "Exactly. He'd want that.I know he'd do whatever he could to make you happy even after he died."

Sam's eyes widen and he pushes me off of him. "No, no, no! S-Sam said that r-right here." he stands up and backs away. "Stay away from me you freak!" before I can even stand up he takes off running towards the park.

"What was all of that?" Colby asks as I walk back to him.

Once again I'm in control of what I do. "I don't know. I felt like someone else was talking for me." we begin to walk back to the field where we had heard Noah screaming. "Weird huh?"

"yeah that was weird." Colby says. "You seemed like a different person!"

I grab my new box of cigarettes from my pocket and take one out. "Well whatever it is I'm back to normal now." I say lighting up my cancer stick.

Colby crinkles his nose as I he gets a whiff of the 'horrible smell'. "One day Damien. You'll get cancer and I'll say I told you so. "

"Yeah, yeah." I shrug it off. "Now I want to go to the library." Colby's eyes widen. "Hey! I read!" That is true,I'm just not some book worm.

"since when?! You didn't even read you book for school!"

"Because they had a movie. God Colby I have so much I need to teach you." he rolls his eyes. "Okay my mom told me to pick up a book on growing tomatoes. She wants to make a garden."

"Well lets go. " Colby says quickening his pace. Ever since he's moved her I've noticed how much he liked to read. He says it takes his mind off of the past.

Like I said Colby's family was murdered but he also had falling in love with this Alex guy. The first few days he was here Colby was a mess. In class he'd just burst into tears and go running out. It wasn't until the second week he was here that I went up to him.

*Flash Back*

I fiddle with the zipper to my loose fitting jacket and walk up to the small black haired boy. He'd been at my school a week and I still haven't heard him say a single word. I'm not sure why I'm even going to talk to the kid, it just seems like he needs someone.

"Hey." I half smile at him.

He look up from the tray of food. "Hi." he mumbles softly.

"Well it seems you haven't eaten. Lunch is almost over. You should probably eat something before the bell rings." I've actually noticed him not eating a lot.

"I'm not hungry." I could tell he was lying because of how he looked at the food on his tray. He is starving.

Sighing I sit on the opposite side of him at the lone table in the back of the cafeteria. "Tell me why you won't eat." this is a lot to ask seeing how this is the first time I've talked to him.

"I want to die." His answer shocks me.

My eyes widen. "And why is that?"

"I have no one. " his eyes flicker back to his tray.

"You have someone."

"My family was killed and I was forced to leave the only person I loved." A tear runs down his pale cheek. "So yeah, I'm alone."

"Well if you'd let me I'd like to be your friend." I smile, a real smile this time.

"Why would you want to? Why do you care?"

"Because," I grin, "It's time I finally get a friend." and it was.

*End of flashback*

"Hey while you look for your tomato book I'm going to go look at the comics!" I nod at Colby as he bounces away.

I was going to go straight to the reference section but like earlier today I feel as if I'm no longer in control. I walk to the very back of the library and end up in the paranormal section. A big black book catches my attention. I grab it off the shelf and flip through it. For whatever reason I feel the need to check it out. So of course I do!

"I thought you just needed a gardening book." Colby says looking suspiciously at the extra book in my hand.

"Yeah, I got side tracked." I really didn't want to go into detail about it so I change the topic. "I'm hungry. Let's go."

Colby nods and follows me out of the library. I can't wait to go home and read this book. It seemed pretty interesting and I've always enjoyed paranormal stuff. Now I just need to find a way to get rid of Colby. I don't like reading things with distractions. He can be a huge distraction sometimes...