Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Noah's point of view. 

I stare in shock at the black haired guy smirking seductively down at me. I nervously look down as his lips draw near mine. 

"Do you want me?" He whispers ever so softly. 

I want to lie and say no. I don't want him knowing how crazy he drives me. I want him to think I don't care.

"Yes." 

His warm lips brush over mine, making my lust for him grow until I just can't take it anymore. I need him.

"That's good because I want you too." 

My eyes shoot open.

"Fuck!" I groan not believing what I'd just did, well dreamed. 

Did that really just happen?! 

"Noah?" John yawns.

I forgot all about John being in here now. How am I going to explain why the hell I'm changing my sheets at two a clock in the morning? I can't tell him I had a wet dream about a guy I've talked to once! John is too innocent for this kind of stuff! 

I don't answer, hoping he thinks he just imagined hearing me. After a few minutes I hear him softly snoring, and I spring into action. I peel the sheets from my twin sized bed and replace them with the only others I had. I swap my pants and  boxers and settle back into bed. 

Embarrassingly enough this has happened before, although with Sam not Damien. Why the hell did I dream about that with him?! I'm going crazy...but damn it was good. 

I'm screwed...

I wake up again remembering the events of last night. I want to forget all that happened but of course it's the complete opposite. I wan-need to know what really kissing him is like. I bet it's wonderful...

Sam. 

Guilt rushes through me. Oh god, I can't be thinking about Damien like that. It’s wrong, like I’m cheating or something. 

I press my fingers to my lips to remember the last time Sam kissed me. I remember the night I gave myself to him promising he'd be the only person I'd ever touch like that. Even if he's dead I have to keep my promise. I'm never going to love anyone else. 

"Noah, did you wake up last night?" John was standing over me looking oddly at my lips. 

Smiling sheepishly I bring my hand down, away from my lips. "No, why would you think that?" 

"I thought I heard you sat something." John looks away quickly then back at me. "Breakfast is ready. You want to eat?" 

"No," I shake my head. "I'm not very hungry. I'm actually going to take a walk." I need some time alone.

"Oh." he mumbles softly. "Have fun." And with that he leaves the room. 

I know one day someone is going to realize what I've been doing the last two years-well I think John has noticed already. Basically we don't have much food, and being the oldest I take it as my responsibility to make sure the younger kids get enough to eat. So I skip meals, I really only eat when I feel I can no longer live unless I get food in me. 

I can't remember the last time I was full. 

Running a hand through my bed head I get up and close the door. I strip of the white tee shirt and gray sweat pants I wore to sleep and pull on some loose fitting jeans and a plain green shirt.  

Sneaking out the window I make my way to the one place I feel comfortable, the park. Sadly all the swings are taken so I'm forced to sit with my feet placed firmly on the concrete. My eyes are glued to the kids giggling and chasing one another around.

 My sight stays on one kid. He's running towards a smiling woman  with her arms stretched out. Just before the kid is going to reach who I presume to be his mom he trips and falls. In an instant tears are spilling out of his eyes. The woman rushes over to comfort the small boy. 

"Noah!" My heart skips a beat.

"Hey Noah!" I try ignoring the voice the best I can. 

"Hey!" Damien stands in front of me smiling. 

"Go away." I say coldly holding back a blush. 

"No! I want to talk to you. You hungry?" 

Yes.

"No." 

"Okay we'll talk here then." He sits beside me and seems to smile more. "I'm just going to come out and say it-"

"Why do you care? Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Please don't leave me…

"I like you." My eyes widen and my heart pounds out of my chest. 

"You don't even know me." 

"I know you enough." I feel his hand softly rest on mine. 

Panicking I quickly pull my hand from under his. "We've talked once." 

"We're talking now aren't we?"

I sigh and stand up. "Please just leave me alone."

I like you too. 

I begin to walk a way but Damien grabs my arm and just by the touch of his hand makes me want more."You see, I don't think I can do that."

I yank my hand from his grasp. "Fuck off." And with that I turn away from possibly the only person who'd be able to help me. 

And what kills me is that he doesn't chase after me...

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...I hope you liked the chapter~

-Sky