Chapter 27

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"Alec," the voice came again, this time it was louder, "Alexander! Are you even listening to me?!"

He snapped himself out of his own thoughts, shaking his head slightly to focus his eyes on Catarina in front of him. Her complexion, for some reason today, looked a bit blue, and she looked very, very, annoyed. Alec let his shoulders slump apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Loss," it took a moment for him to speak again, "I just guess I'm really distracted today."

"I bet," she said dryly, shuffling the papers in her hands for a bit, "celebrities and their love lives are the worst combination, I know."

The word 'celebrity' rang inside his ears. It was so foreign, and it being applied to him was something Alec would've laughed at a long time ago. Now, the idea of it didn't seem so scary anymore, instead, it felt a bit terrifying to him.

The filming for the movie had finished, and Alec remembered the premiere night clearly in his head. It was as if his memory was showing him a movie he had watched so many times in his life that he could recite some lines from his memory.

The first thing that had happened had been a whirl of confusion, fabrics and powders all around him. Before he could really even comprehend what was happening, he was wearing one of the most expensive suits he had ever even seen in his life, his hair combed in a way that made his head feel light and strange, and smelling faintly of roses. It made him feel so different, as if he was in a different skin of some stranger. When he had managed to get in front of a mirror, Alec had nearly jumped back in shock.

The person staring back at him couldn't be himself.

They both had blue eyes, dark hair, and skin that never tanned, but that was where the similarities ended. Nothing else was recognizable about himself.

For one thing, besides the clothing and fussing, Alec found that he was standing up taller. It came almost naturally, as if he knew that he had a right to be there in the world, instead of slouching down like he usually did. With a start, he realized that he was standing like Jace. It was so odd, and he didn't feel at all like himself.

Before he could think or panic too much about it, he had been pushed into a limo. All he could do was look outside of the different shapes blurring outside of the window as the limo sped by the rest of the city, leaving him isolated. He had listened to the quiet, softened sound of the engine of the vehicle the whole wat there, with nothing to say to anything at all. It had taken a moment for Alec to realize why the limo suddenly seemed too cold and dark. He realized why it seemed as if there was nothing bright around him at all. Magnus wasn't there in the limo, and Alec wondered to himself if he had purposely asked to be put in a different limo than him. Magnus and himself had spent the couple of days ignoring each other in their home, only saying polite greetings in the morning before leaving to do daily errands. It felt as if it was squeezing Alec's heart into nothing but broken bits. He tried not to let the pain, the hurt of it eat at him.

When someone had opened the door for him a while later, flashing lights had instantly been upon him, like angry, stinging bees. Alec had wanted to cover his ears to get away from all the noises, the chanting of people that seemed to be all around him. Between the flashing camera lights, he had tried to answer a couple of reporters and their questions. Before he could even open his mouth, though, a couple of bodyguards had shoved them away furiously, even against their protests. All of it terrified Alec, he wasn't ever used to this much attention, and he doubted that he ever would be. It was always people like Isabelle and Jace who could be used to the attention, it was always people like Magnus who could deal with then. Then, in the sea of reporters and cameramen at the premiere, Alec had suddenly realized just how much he missed Magnus.

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