| A Fear In Love | ✔️ REWRITING

Chapter Ten

 "No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself." ~ Madonna

~

Allison

 "People seem weak, but they're strong. They seem strong, but they're weak." ~ Fuyumi Soryo  

~

( one week later)

the doctors requested that I should be admitted into a psychiatric facility. I didn't want to come here but if I didn't volunteer I would of had to go through court... I thought this place was going to be very unpleasant... but for my surprise this place is actually the first place I felt safe, I know that may seem strange but it isn't how many people would think it is... like a place where crazy people go... it's nothing like that... the people and the environment is so comforting. 

it was around 9:30 so it was time for me to go to this morning group.

~

I sat down in the chair. There was about 10 other people in this room.

the therapist went around and asked everyone some questions and than she looked at me.

"Allison how are you feeling today?" 

"Better than yesterday." I said.

"That's good... I see your making some improvements." 

I smiled.

"So. What are your goals for today? what do you want to accomplish." 

" I guess get through a day without crying." I looked at her.

"that's good." she smiled.

"If you could rate how you feel from one to ten, what would you rate it? and are you hearing or seeing things." she looked at me.

"A seven... and sometimes I can hear my uncle saying things to me." I said.

"Like what?" a girl sitting beside me said.

I could hear everything he said to me when he raped me... Its stuck in my head... I wish his voice could stop haunting me.

"Its hard to explain." I looked at her.

"somethings you just cant explain and that's perfectly fine but I love hearing how much you have improved since the first day you came here." she smiled.

"Thank you for listening." I looked at her.

"It's my pleasure. I love hearing how you guys day went." 

~

I walked into the cafeteria line and  grabbed an apple, a salad, and a bottled water and sat down at the table near the window.

I thought about my mother and friends...about how much I've missed them, I really cant wait to see them again. 

I began to tear up.

"FUCK." I said to myself.

I thought I was going to get through a day without crying but I guess I failed.

~

I finished up my lunch and had to go see the nurse so I could take my medicine

" Here you go." she handed me a spoon and the bottle.