Same Mistakes

Chapter Thirteen

Justin sat silently across from me as I adjusted Jayce in my lap to face me. I knew I would regret this if not immediately, later into the night. Justin didn't deserve to know Jayce or be given the time of day, yet I continued to sit here.

He was the first to speak, "I'm sorry." His voice was shaky as if he did something wrong and was being reprimanded.

Jayce attempted to turn in my lap to the voice, but stopped once I tightened my grip on him. I looked up from Jayce to Justin only being able to say one thing, "Why?"

"I didn't know you would bring him and I-" He trailed off, clearly at a lost for words.

"Why did you tell Tessa to do this?" I was being too nice to him. Everything in me was telling me that he deserved any wrath I felt, but truthfully I wasn't angry. My heart was heavy because I was nervous. I never planned for this moment to happen and yet it was.

He sighed and looked down at his hands that laid on the table, "There's a lot of shit I want to say to you and-"

"Don't cuss." He rolled his eyes and continued, as he did I looked around for the waiter that disappeared I'm assuming shortly after he sensed the awkwardness. He did leave two menus behind though, "My bad. I knew you wouldn't meet me if I asked you to so I asked Tessa if she could get you to."

"Dammit, Tessa." This time he stopped me, "You cussed."

"I am the child's mother." There was a long pause between us when I said this and a lingering question of 'and the father?' but I ignored it as I kept going, "Well, you got me here, what?"

"I guess we should eat." His eyes questioned me although it wasn't a question.

I looked back down at Jayce, debating whether I should have Dani come pick him up or not, but she couldn't because I had the car and the car seats. I silently wished I would have took up her offer to watch him for the night.

"Get the waiter," Justin waved down the waiter as I sat Jayce next to me to where he was fully facing Justin now. Before Justin could look at him the waiter came taking our orders then quickly leaving.

Once he was gone, Justin looked at me not knowing if he could or should look at Jayce. I sighed and looked at Jayce, "This is my son. Baby, say hi."

Jayce brought up a shy hand and waved before hiding half of his face in my side. I smiled before bringing my face up to Justin's. He was smiling down at Jayce and waved back, "Hi, buddy."

Any idiot could see that Jayce was Justin's but I was not going to say anything and I prayed he wouldn't either. His eyes were the only feature of mine that Jayce had, everyo other feature belonged to Justin. Though, I was never able to confirm that he was Justin's I knew from the moment that he was born that he was.

"Name?" Justin's voice was hesitant. I slowly shook my head in denial because even this was too much for one night. It was just a name, but it was his name. My son's name. Justin nodded his head in acceptance before redirecting the conversation, "New York?"

I gave Jayce my phone as a distraction and shrugged, "I'm an east coast girl."

"You seemed to fit right in on the west coast though." As the conversation lightened up so did I.

I tucked a loose hair behind my ear before adding my retort, "Yeah, but I always wanted to be artsy and dye my hair pink. It fits the New York aesthetic."

He let out a small laugh before looking down at his phone that buzzed lightly on the table. He typed quickly before bringing his attention back to me, "How have you been?"

This small talk was stupid because we both know that there were bigger things that needed to be said, but Jayce being here made us both hold back. I nodded slowly, "Good actually. You?"

He shrugged and gave me a half smile, "I don't know, forreal. Guess I've been gone."

He didn't elaborate and I didn't ask him to, I probably knew a lot more about his life right now than I wanted to admit so I didn't want the details from him. An awkward silence fell over us until our food came giving us a reason to not talk.

After I finished I gave Jayce a small piece of bread from my plate and looked up seeing Justin typing on his phone again. It only took the waiter a few minutes to get the check, allowing us to leave without much more conversation.

Once we got to the door Justin spoke, "I'll walk you to your car."

"Okay." I led him to where the car sat while he continuous typed on his phone, before starting it and setting Jayce in the back seat while I said goodbye, "Thank you."

"For what?" He was caught off guard by my sentiment and honestly so was I, but I answered, "Dinner I guess. It wasn't nearly as terrible as I was expecting."

"You expected it to be terrible?" He laughed a little and I shrugged, "Truthfully, I expected that to end with me leaving early."

A wide smile crossed his face causing one to cross mine as well, "Well, I'm glad it turned out good then. I think we should still try to talk while I'm here though."

"Uh, I have a pretty busy schedule with work and Jayce but-" I stopped realizing I just used Jayce's name but did my best to ignore it, "we can see. I gotta get home though."

He smirked, but refrained from commenting on my slip up, "Good night, Nadia."

"Night, Justin." His name weighed heavy as I said it and he gave another smile as he walked away allowing me to finally get into the car.