Same Mistakes

Chapter Twenty Five

I slowly began to wake up in the chair next to Jayce's bed, there was a mingling of voices in the room but I didn't have the energy to open my eyes knowing that if I did I would be met with Jayce's face and I couldn't bare that right now. 

Three of the voices I could hear belonged to Tessa, Ryan, and Scooter but there was a fourth female voice that I couldn't recognized. 

Tessa's voice was a whisper, "It's going to take more than an I'm sorry and it was wrong for her to forgive him. What he did was beyond wrong, he took her little boy and now because of him he's in the hospital. I don't know what the hell he was thinking."

The women sighed, "He wasn't. Really it's my fault, he was coming to see me. I just wanted to see him, meet him and Justin wanted to make that happen."

Tessa let out a long sigh, but didn't say anything else. After a few minutes I decided to open my eyes realizing that the female voice belonged to Justin's mom. Looking over at Jayce, nothing had changed from hours ago. There was no movement, no changes. 

"Hey, Nadia. How us feeling?" Ryan kneeled down in front of me and examined my face. I slowly sat up in the chair, my neck was stiff and my head was throbbing, "I could use some aspirin and a neck massage truthfully."

"I'll get you some aspirin and I'll see what I can do about the neck massage. The doctor came by while you were sleeping and said that they are going to take him off the ventilator soon to try and see if he can breath on his own yet. They did something about the bone and gave him some pain medication, everything is going as planned so they are happy." Ryan smiled weakly at me and I gave one back. 

Tessa gave me the food that they had ordered for me and I took small bites of it. While I ate it Pattie attempted to talk to me, "I just want to say I'm sorry, Nadia."

"For what exactly? Somehow getting your son to kidnap my son and bring him to you or your son getting in a car accident with my son?" My words were harsh but I truthfully didn't care. I was hurt, Jayce was hurt and at the end of the day it was Justin's fault. 

"I understand why your upset and you have every right to be. I'm not going to defend him. He's up if you would like to talk to him, I just ask that you not stress him out too much. He's an idiot but he's my son." Pattie walked out the door and I followed her, leaving Tessa to watch Jayce. Justin's room was in the same wing as Jayce's for privacy reasons so everyone was quietly waiting in the waiting room. 

In Justin's room Hailey sat next to his bed laughing with him. He must have woken up when I was sleeping. It was night which meant that all of our sleeping schedules were off now. 

When the two seen me they suddenly became quiet, Hailey quickly leaving the room. Once she was gone I silently looked at Justin in his hospital bed. He was taken off his heart monitor but was still connected to the IV that was pumping fluids into him.

He looked fine and I wanted to scream because it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he got to be okay but Jayce was across the hall hardly being able to breathe without any pain. But even though I was mad at the same time I was a little relieved that Justin was okay. A sob left my mouth without tears this time and I quickly covered my mouth and turned away from Justin. 

After minutes of trying to calm myself down Justin's hand laid on my shoulder. I hadn't realized that he had gotten out of bed but he did, his stand with his fluids following him, "You can hate me. I hate me honestly."

"If fucking only." I took a deep breath before facing him, taking a step back, "I want to. I want to so fucking bad because I should. It's not fair that you get to be okay while Jayce- But I can't because for some reason I was actually kind of relieved when I walked in here and you were okay. Because for some reason I fucking care about you."

Justin balance was off from standing and I could tell that he wanted to get back in bed but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to. Instead he continued to stand and talk, "Nadia, I love you. I love Jayce and I know I don't deserve either of you not after this, but I am sorry. I can't explain why I did what I did, all I can do is say that I'm sorry. So fucking sorry."

I shook my head, "I care about you, Justin but I can't say that I love you. I can't love someone that I don't trust and you might be sorry but that doesn't change the fact that he's hurting."

He didn't say anything else before there was a knock on the door and Ryan's head peaked in, "I got your aspirin." I nodded in response allowing Ryan to close the door again. 

I turned my attention back to Justin, "Just be a better dad to your son. That's all I want because he deserves that. They're taking him off the ventilator soon, come seen him when you feel better. I want to focus on getting our son better, focus on being parents and then we can handle our relationship. Okay?"

"Thank you, Nadia. I don't deserve you."

I sighed, "Then who does?"