If I stay

Breakfast

    I wake up by the light seeping through the curtains. My body is sore, and I'm beyond tired. However, I roll out of bed at the smell of bacon cooking.

Ryan used to cook it all the time for me back home. He would always make sure that on his days off that he could make it. If he couldn't, he's take me somewhere that served it. I miss him. More than anything. It seems that everything reminds me of him.

I tug on a pair of pajama shorts and a clean t-shirt, and head out of my bedroom. I had made a deal with Frank that if I have his baby, I can go home. Eating is the first step to having a healthy baby. Pulling my hair into a messy bun, I quietly drag my feet down the hall.

My stomach growls as I enter the kitchen, and I'm greeted by Alex's bare back facing the stove. His skin is littered in red scratch marks, and his neck has little bruises on it. I don't remember that.

His pants hang low on his hips, exposing his back dimples. The tattoos littering his arms move as his muscles flex, and the hair on his head is a mess.

"Morning," he says acknowledging my presence. I suck in a deep breath and take a seat in one of the chairs at the table.

I don't respond. Instead, I rest my hands in my head and tiredly think about what I did last night. I cannot believe myself. I can believe Alex, somewhat. I don't know why he went down on me, and I don't know why I let him. The fact that I couldn't resist him makes me so sick to my stomach.

I love Ryan, and you don't do something like that to someone you love. It tears me apart knowing that I let myself go like that, and all I want to do is throw up and beg Ryan to forgive me to what's been happening.

A plate full of food is sat in front of me, taking me out of my trance. I had been so caught up in shaming myself, it made me jump in surprise.

"I don't have work today, so I figured if you'd like, I can take you to get some things for yourself." Alex Frank says, taking a seat across from me with a plate equally as full. If I still had my wolf, the plate in front of me would see like not enough, but now- it's way more than enough. I quietly pick up a piece of bacon and glance between it and Alex.

"Why?" I ask dryly. Why is he being nice? Why is he trying to get me on his good side? Alex is a bad person. A sick, bad person. He doesn't deserve my kindness, and he doesn't deserve to pretend like he is kind. I won't be fooled by the monster before me.

"I don't have to explain myself to you. I figured it's a no anyways." He says, with annoyance laced in his tone. My eyes shoot up to meet his and I frown.

"Will you explain why you went the extra mile last night, at least?" I watch his eyes narrow. If he was trying to make me feel better, or 'do it for me', I don't like it. It bothers me. It's something Ryan hardly ever did, and although I liked what he did, I don't like the idea of it being Alex instead of Ryan.

"What?" He knots his eyebrows. "Me eating you out?" I choke on my food. Although I don't exactly know Alex Frank, I never expected him to talk like that. I cough and hold a hand over my mouth. When my eyes are done watering, I see the amused smirk on his face.

"Don't say that." I grumble. It's embarrassing. Men have no filter and half the stuff they say makes me turn red. With anger or embarrassment.

Alex shrugs it off. "You were in heat and you smelt so irresistible," he takes a bite of his food. "You were tempting, and I couldn't resist." His tongue darts out and he were his bottom lip.

Awkwardly, I take a bite of my food and stare down at my plate. The kitchen falls silent, and leaves me in my thoughts.

I wonder what Ryan and North are doing right about now. Are they sleeping? Looking for me? My heart aches at the idea that Ryan has given up. But, I mean, why should he continue? I've been gone for over a month. He probably things I'm dead by now.

After choking down a third of my food, I push my plate away from me and cross my arms over my chest tiredly. All I want to do is hear my mates voice, and hear my baby cry. I didn't think that I would ever say that I miss her daily crying, but right now it's the thing that I miss most. At least when I heard her crying then, she was only an arms reach away. Now, she's several hundred miles.

"Stick to just doing that to your mate, no?" I mumble. Alex pauses what he's doing and looks up at me. He knots his eyebrows.

"Why would I reward her for being a bitch?" He blinks, unphased by what I had said. I stare at Alex in disbelief.

"Don't call her that." I frown.

"She isn't that bad," he shakes his head, "she just bitches and It doesn't make me want to do things like that for her." He shrugs his shoulders and stuff his mouth again.

I quietly stare at Alex Frank. He is such an odd fellow. Maybe my way of thinking is just as odd to him. Why doesn't his mate come around? Why did he just call her a bitch? A million things race through my mind, but I'm only stuck on one.

Where is she while I'm getting pregnant with their baby?