If I stay

Lunch

I take a seat at a booth in the corner of the pizza place. Artie's. It's colors are red and green. The seats are a worn out shade of red, and the tables have people's signatures carved into them.

It's a family place. It's not busy right now, though. Everyone is either at school or work. The smell of tomato sauce and melted cheese fills my nose. It's enough to make my stomach rumble with hunger.

My eyes focus on Alex who's walking towards me with two plates of pizza. The pizza is fresh, I can see the steam coming from each of the slices. He doesn't trust me. I'm sure Alex has his guard up, thinking that I may try to run. He has kept his eye on me since we left the house.

My stomach rumbles as Alex takes a seat across from me. He pushes a slice of sausage pizza towards me and I look down at it. I think about pushing it away, but I decide it's best if I don't do that. I lift it to my mouth and take a bite.

Alex Frank smiles. It's not a toothy smile, but it's a smile. He hardly ever does that and when he does I find it odd. A smile doesn't look bad on the man, if anything it helps him. A friendly man is better than a asshole.

"What does Chelsea do for a living?" I ask, sparking up a conversation. Alex is taken off guard by my intrusive question about his not-so-nice mate.

"She designs clothes and schedules for a model. Why?" He asks. Frank takes a bite of his pizza and I cannot help but notice the bone in his cheek pokes out when he chews.

"I don't know, it's just- don't you guys ever stay around each other for more than an hour?" I ask. Chelsea and Alex didn't seem excited to see each other. It seemed like more of a business deal than anything this morning. As if she was his lawyer.

"She has a busy schedule. She travels around a lot, yeah. We spend time together, but not the time I want." He says. Alex's tone turns emotionless and dull.

"So, as in 'spend time together' you mean she won't sleep with you?" I ask. I sit my pizza down completely baffled by what he's saying.

He smiles a little, tilts his head to the side and nods his head. "Yeah." I don't know how I feel about that. I mean Ryan waited for me, but it didn't take me that long and I was simply afraid of him for the longest time.

"What'd you do to her?" I joke. Alex rolls his eyes and takes a bite. I mean, what mates don't sleep with each other? The poor guy would probably be nicer, and she would be less bitchy if she got some ass every once in awhile.

"Nothing. She's just uptight." I smirk. I want to laugh at his words but I don't. I press my lips in a hard line to keep from doing so.

"Do you love her?" I ask. I'm pushing my luck. He furrows his eyebrows at my question. Alex thinks about it for a minute. He let's out a breath and shakes his head. No.

"I do care about her. I just- I'm not sure about loving her. Shes my mate, so of course I'm going to have feelings for her. They're more like a friend feeling than anything." He says softly. "Why do you care?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm just wondering. You guys don't share the same look in your eyes."

"And what look would that be, hmm?" He asks. I blink, take a bite of the crust. I look down to realize I've eaten most of my food. I sit there for a minute.

"I don't know. It's just this look someone gets when they see someone they love. Like when Ryan, he'd be so mad coming home from a meeting- then he'd see North or even me and instantly the glow in his eyes would change. You guys don't have that glow." I say softly. I push the plate away and rest my arm on the table.

"North?" He asks.

"Yeah, my daughter. She's a year old. Ryan didn't like the name at first, it's strange, I know. But who else names their kid North?"

He nods his head. "I also thought about the North Star and how you follow it to get back home." I mumble. He furrows his eyebrows and looks down at his plate. He's hardly eaten.

The clock on the wall tells me we've spent nearly two hours here talking. I feel my lip quiver talking about North and Ryan.

"Can we go?" I ask.

"Actually, I've got some stuff to lay on you." He says quickly. I furrow my eyebrows.

"Stuff?"

"Rules, Taylor. Rules." He corrects himself. I nod my head slowly. I guess a deal always has ifs.

"Okay." I sigh, I can't exactly tell him no. Mostly because I'm afraid to.

"They're simple. The first rule is, you'll eat three times a day. It's not only for your saftey, but for the baby's as well." Easy. "Two, your going to have to start sleeping with me. I know that's a lot to ask, but the baby needs to learn my voice and heart beat and get to know that I'm its father. It's also to relieve some stress, because I know you're that  not sleeping well at night." Fuck. "Three, don't get attached to the baby. It's better for all of us. Can you do that?" He asks, his eyes connecting with mine. My heartbeat pounds as a pressure weighs me down. This is so simple, yet so difficult.

Don't get attached to the baby that I'm growing inside of me. Sleep next to a man that isn't my mate or husband, and eat when I don't have an appetite. Piece of fucking cake.

I let out a breath and think about it for awhile. Ryan and North creep into my mind. I just do what he says and in a breeze I'll be back home to them. To my family.

"Yeah, I can do that."