If I stay

Bed

Two weeks later,

I don't wake up to Jewel bringing me food like she usually does, nor do I even wake to her yelling at me that it's time I wake up. At two in the morning, I wake feeling sicker than I've felt in a long time.

I jump out of bed and scramble to my feet, trying to make it to the bathroom before my dinner gets everywhere. I don't have time to mess with the bathroom light, but somehow I manage to make it into the toilet. I drop to my knees, my eyes watering from the painful burn in my throat that seems to come without an end.

The watering of my eyes turns to tears. My stomach feels like it's in a acrobatic show, constantly twisting and turning and doing all kinds of flips. I groan aloud and my grip on the rim of the toilet tightens. I gag,hunching over the toilet. I stay this way, waiting a praying that the sickness will end soon.

A warm hand rests on my back while another pulls the hair from my face. I sit there for awhile before I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and let out a little whimper. I stand weakly and face Alex. At the sight of him, my bottom lip quivers.

Frank let's out a soft breath as his eyes meet mine. His large arms wrap themselves around my tiny body and he gently rests his head on top of mine. As he rocks us back and forth, I begin to cry against his bare chest.

I know I made him a promise, but that doesn't mean that I really want to fall pregnant because of him. I cry because I'm terrified. I'm afraid I'll have to go through all of this alone. Most of all, I cry because Alex is not Ryan, and this isn't the life I want to live.

If Alex wasn't holding me as tight as he was, I would have fallen to my knees. I cannot stand. I'm disappointed in myself. It feels as if my heart has shattered in a million pieces.

"I know this isn't what you want, but I promise that everything will turn out." He breaths into my hair. I shake my head. I don't believe anything he says. I don't want to believe it. Either way I'm screwed. If I have this baby, I can go home, but that means I'll have to leave the baby behind. If I don't have the baby, I'll be stuck here forever.

Alex picks me up and holds me as if I'm an infant. I don't look where he's taking me, all I can see is a blur of tears and walls. Burying my head in his chest, I can physically feel my heart hurting for what I've done wrong. All I can do is cry. There's so many emotions flowing around me.

My stomach aches and it feels as though I've just thrown up my insides. I don't know how to feel about the news that has come. Should I be at least a little happy, that I'm one step closer to getting home to Ryan and North?

I sniffle as Alex rests me down on the bed. Looking up at Alex, he has a pained expression on his face. I look away and rub the tears from my cheeks. My eyes are heavy, and it difficult for me to breath from how hard I'm crying.

I look at the clock, 3:51 am. I close my eyes and continue to cry, but no sound comes out. The bed sinks in next to me and large arms wrap themselves around my body tugging me towards them.

I can hear his heartbeat next to my ear. I try to pull away from him but it doesn't happen like that. "Let me go!" I beg, trying to get out of his snake-like grip. When I struggle Alex only holds me tighter.

As much as I hate to admit it, I needed a hug. Even if it's from him. Eventually I calm down, I close my eyes and keep my head close to his heart. I focus on my breathing, and once my tears have stopped and I'm left to think, the first thing that pops into my mind slips past my lips.

"You won't do this anymore, after me, right?" I ask. I feel his finger rub circles into my skin. I rest my head against his chest and run my hands over the thickness of his arms. The warmth of his skin under my fingertips is calming.

"Do what?" His voice is  gentle in little over a whisper. Alex's fingers run through the ends of my hair, trying his best to soothe me. I want to run from him, but the way he's holding me down is keeping me from doing so.

"You can't just go around buying women, Alex. They're  not some kind of property that you can just spend money on and call it yours." I say afraid that I may make him angry, "you can't do this to anyone else. You can't let them get stripped of everything that they love." A single tear falls down my face.

"I won't buy anymore." He says close to my ear. I listen to his soft heart beating. Alex sounds sincere, so genuine...

"Please go to sleep, Taylor. We'll talk about this tomorrow." He mumbles. I nod my head and sit up. Before I can leave his bed, Alex grabs my wrist softly making me turn to face him.

"Just sleep in here, I need to know if you wake up again tonight and you'll sleep better." He says. His icy blue eyes are soft, and I feel as though he needs me to stay more than he's getting at. I lay back down and face away from Alex. Shutting my eyes, I try my best to go back to sleep with the burning feeling that haunts me.

I'm just about asleep when Alex wraps his arm around my body and pulls me against his chest.