Beyond My Reach ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

6

Monica

Thank god for college friends. Kimberly, an old friend that I knew from my one year in college owned an apartment building. I've been living in a homeless shelter for almost a month jumping from place to place doing things that past my boundaries just for another shot or fifty dollars to eat a few nights. I told her about my situation, being homeless, for the time being that is, nothing more. She said she'd let me stay in one of her small apartment buildings until I got back on my feet.

The last month had been hell, the shittiest was the moment I walked into a shitty bar bathroom with a stranger just for some junk. I shivered at the thought, it made me feel cheap, but in the heat of everything running out of junk made me push my boundaries. It's not the worst thing i've done for junk but it's the worst in a while. It was quite normal last year but it wasn't as humiliating.

Maybe, just maybe, now I wouldn't end up dead in an ally way with a needle still in my arm. Maybe.

I had nearly had an OD situation one night in a club, I had been lessening my doses but I had filled the syringe to much in a hurry. I just had to keep my breathing still the cheap shit was harder than I expected but it could be my detachment.

"Here's the keys Monica," Kimberly said, she was a sweet girl from what I've known her, she'd give her kidney up for a stranger, if it wasn't the fact that she had needed another person's kidney in the past.

"Thanks Kim, I owe you," I said

"Don't bother with that, I'm well off," she said "you need to put your self back together," she fixed her honey hair into place, she was attractive and we had a small fling years back, I feel like that has something to do with my good fortune. She was married now with two kids, me? nothing.

I nodded, I was so incredibly thankful. I walked aimlessly around until I found the room. The apartment complex was big, they had two pools and everything. She'd inherented the place from her father, it was a richer establishment, the apartments are a ton here but she's such a sweet heart that she's letting me stay here.

I opened the door to the first floor apartment, it was chilly but not dreadfully cold. The first thing to your right was the laundry room then the small kitchen right after it. My feet traveled to the sink and I turned it on, running water. Sure no big deal to most people but after spending quite a bit of time homeless, you start to appreciate showers. After that there was a small living area, the walls were an ugly beige but it didn't bother me, there was a book shelf then a door opposite to the wall I slumped my bag and guitar against. I pulled off my jacket and dropped it ontop of my bag.

I made my way to the door pushing it open, there was an oldish mattress on the ground and a few folded sheets ontop, on the other end there was another door. I pushed it open and there was a bathroom, in the cabinet beneath the sink had a few bars of soap, tooth paste, a two pack of tooth brushes, and a towel. The place wasn't much but it was pretty great to me.

I stripped and grabbed a bar of soap from the cabinet. I stepped in the shower and turned on the water. I froze as the cold water hit my skin, it warmed up but bathing was still a chore. I gritted my teeth as I continue to clean my self. I stepped out reaching for the towel to dry myself. As I wrapped it around I looked at my self in he mirror, my skin was paler than ever my black hair was knoted and the brown roots began to show. My eyes had bags and dark circles underneath, I was way skinny, it looked unhealthy. I looked like a corpse to put it short more nearing the bloating stage however a little. My hands trailed down each of my arms some of the holes in them red and demanding, degrading me.

I averted my eyes from the mirror, I dried up and grabbed my grimy clothes making a pile behind the room door. I went to the living area and grabbed some clothes it was a red tee with Hendrix on it and some jeans that weren't baggy.