Beyond My Reach ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

17

I dont think ive written this many F words before... Jeezy.

Also im thinking of writing a story that revolves just around Christmas time. Thoughts?
***

I stormed over to the couch. My heart felt really heavy as tears pricked my eyes. It hurt so much, why does it hurt so fucking much and I've barely dated him.

He looked up at me his stupidly beautiful eyes met mine, he frowned a bit "what's wrong?" He asked standing up, he stretched his hand out to caress my cheek. I pushed it away, I shoved the phone at him.

"I don't know you tell me," I said as I wiped away the escaping tear.

His face dropped as he read the text "Moni I-"

"You're what? Seriously what do you have to say?" I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly making it fly every where. "You're married and you're cheating on your wife with me, I'm just some side chick."

"Moni you're not a side chick, I really care about you, really," he reached for my hand, I pulled it back. I remembered the stupid bracelet and how happy it made me. How could I be so stupid. I pulled it off of my wrist and gave it to him.

"Don't call me that," I whispered harshly, tears welled up in my eyes as I began to speak again "I should've just listened to Jamie and Googled your name, maybe then I wouldn't feel so... so hurt."

My nerves were off the edge as I continued to wipe my tears away. I couldn't take this, it was driving me crazy. "I thought you were different from the other guys I was with, obviously I was wrong."

"Babe-"

"Don't call me that either. Don't call me any of those stupid names I don't want to hear it," I said again.

"Listen to me please," he begged, I looked away from him but stayed quiet, "okay, according to law I'm married, but neither Juliet or I feel the same way both of us did when we got married. We decided to take a break for a few months, see other people, and if we didn't feel the same by January we'd separate."

"So what I'm just a rebound?"

"No, no you aren't, I swear its not like that, I should've told you earlier." He said "we both aren't sure we want to be together-"

"So what? It's an experiment to see if you want to go back to your wife after!?" I scoffed livid Andy's eyes widened.

"No- Moni, I'm serious about you I'm not using you as an experiment or a re-"

"Which guy goes from one relationship to another that quickly?" I shook my head in frustration, "why the fuck does this hurt so much?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you Monica," Andy mumbled, he stepped closer taking my hand in his. I let him, because all I wanted to do was let him hold me as I cried. I guess we both had our secrets.

Andy pulled me into a hug as tears travel down my face. I let my head rest against his shoulder. I closed my eyes, I wanted him, my stupid ass heart wanted the guy holding me that didn't care enough to say 'By the way I'm married'. It just felt like every time I fall for someone I'm hurt. Its like I can't find any one. My crying damped his shirt, I wish he would've told me.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against the top of my head "I wanted you to be my girlfriend, I still do Monica, I can't get you out of my head. You're always there, I care about you so much..."

"Please just stop talking," I whispered harshly. I tried to get out of his arms, I couldn't take this anymore, there were to many feelings. "I think you should leave..."

"Monica..."

"I mean it," I pushed him off of me. He stumbled a little.

"Please lets just talk about this-"