aid • kylo ren

BONUS CHAPTER IV

         

Ben watched his son from a distance. He was training, a one-on-one session with Luke and Rey. He was sparring with Rey, now a master Jedi. His swordsmanship has really improved in recent months, each movement really flowed, and Jordan seemed to be able to hold each move better. Luke watched on, giving him pointers for his positioning as well as coaching him to not just swing the sword, but use his connection with the force to guide his movements.

Ben was proud of his son, he really was – only 13 but excelling in his Jedi training and an even better pilot.

But there was these undeniable feelings of dread and anxiousness that lay at the pit of Ben's stomach. And it wasn't going away. Ben was worried about Jordan's future. His family had the affinity to fall to the dark side. Anakin, himself. And he was scared that Jordan would do the same. That somehow, Ben passed on this onto him and he would follow in his footsteps. It kept him awake at night. It had kept him awake for years, as soon as Jordan started talking about and getting excited about Jedi training, the fear had manifested itself and hadn't left him since.

However, he hadn't talked about this with anyone. Not even Luna. He had kept this to himself, afraid that talking about it would suddenly unlock Jordan's subconscious inclination for the Dark Side. Instead, he acted like any father would; proud and encouraging, always asking him about his training.

Now, Jordan was only 5 years younger than he was when he betrayed everyone he loved. And it was getting harder for Ben to hide his anxieties. He knew that Luna could tell something was up, his tiredness and the times he would throw himself into his work to try and forget about it for a few hours. And sometimes, the need for Ben to just hold Luna, without explanation, because he could feel the fears coming up his throat and he needed his anchor to calm him down. Luna had asked him what was wrong, but he brushed it off as stress from the ongoing war, he knew she didn't believe him, but didn't press with more questions.

He watched as Jordan retracted his lightsabre, nodding his head to Rey and Luke, before walking away, as he was dismissed from training for the day. Ben knew his son's routine well, he would now go for a fly around in one of the spare ships until it was too dark and flying curfew before returning home for a quick dinner and a sleep to wake and then do it all again tomorrow.

Ben sighed and turned to walk back to their home. Luna would be home by now, no doubt cooking up something for them to eat. He nodded to other officers on his way back. Once he entered their home, he could smell the fresh bread and herbs from the soup that Luna was making.

"That smells amazing." Ben said as he walked into the kitchen, stood behind Luna and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissing her head.

"Ben! I was wondering when you would get back." Luna said before turning to place a kiss on Ben's lips. Luna looked older, but she was still just as beautiful, now 33, lines had begun to appear around her eyes, but other than that and a shorter haircut, she remained unchanged. He however, knew he looked old, 41, grey hairs starting to appear and wrinkles becoming deeper, but Luna still said he looked like a stud, which made him laugh every time.

Ben helped Luna prepare the rest of the dinner, cutting up the bread and pouring them an alcoholic beverage each to have with dinner. They sat at their table, opposite each other. Luna talked about her day in the infirmary and the different patients. Ben hummed and ha'ed at the right moments, but the anxieties plagued his mind. Luna could see something was definitely wrong.

"So, I'm pregnant." Luna tested

"Hmm." Ben said, looking at his soup, stirring it absentmindedly.

Luna slammed her hand down on the table. "BEN!" She exclaimed.

Ben jumped at the sound, looking at Luna and immediately feeling guilty for not paying attention to her.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Ben asked.

"Ben, what is going on? You've been like this for weeks." Luna said, putting her spoon down and placing her arms on the table.

"Nothing. Just work stuff." Ben looked away from her, knowing she was being extremely unconvincing.

"Don't give me that excuse. We both know that's not the reason. Ben," Luna reached out and placed a hand on his arm, "you can tell me."

Ben looked at her, knowing that he was going to tell her. He couldn't say no to her.

"I'm just...scared. About Jordan." Ben started.

"What's happened to Jordan?" Luna asked, eyes widening in fear that something had happened to her son.

"Nothing. It's me. I'm scared about his training. I'm so, so scared, Luna it's eating me up inside." Ben said, almost on the verge of tears.

Luna looked at him, waiting to continue, her thumb rubbing his arm reassuringly.

"I'm worried he's going to go down the same path as me. That he's going to turn to the Dark Side and we're going to lose him like my parents lost me." Ben finally choked out.

"Oh, Ben." Luna said, getting up and walking to the other side of the table, pulling out the chair next to him and moving it closer so she could sit and hug him tightly. Ben held her, squeezing his eyes shut as Luna rubbed his back.

"Ben, that's not going to happen." Luna eased.

"How do you know?" Ben asked, pulling away from Luna. "You know my family has always had the inclination to go to the Dark Side. Anakin did, I did. What if he does?" Ben argued.

Luna grabbed a hold of Ben's hands and squeezed them. "Listen to me, I know because Jordan is strong. He is strong and stubborn and wouldn't dream of disappointing you. And I know because he has us. He has you, his father. He looks up to you, Ben, and one day when he's older you'll tell him about you and how we met, and I promise you, he's going to be okay and he's going to be with us."

Ben looked at his wife, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks. He let out a breath and Luna raised one her hands to cup his cheek.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Luna asked.

Ben let out a laugh. "Years."

"Years?! Oh Ben, you're such an idiot. Why did you torture yourself over this for so long." Luna said in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Ben said sincerely, leaning into her hand.

"It's okay, come here."

They embraced again, this time Ben was more relaxed.

"Don't worry, Ben. We're a family. We'll be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen to us." Luna said, holding onto him tightly.

"I hope you're right," Ben said. "I love you."

"I love you too, always."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

and that's the last bonus chapter! i hope you liked it, i love this one so much i was so inspired.

thank you again for being such an amazing group of readers, i love and appreciate you all so much! thanks for all the support!

i may or may not have something in the works that i hope you'll all be excited for! and plus with the last jedi, i hope i'll be able to release a new story based on that movie!

speaking of, who's ready for the last jedi? i am so PUMPED. can't wait for all that new kylo content :')

hope you guys have the best holiday season too!

until next time,

--larissa