Life With the Butlers

Chapter 12 | Put the Bat Down

Chapter 12

Put the bat down

Logan

       What had I done? How could I have broken so far, so fast, that I would hurt Olivia in the worst way possible? She would never forgive me. I could feel the deep pressing darkness hovering at the edges of my consciousness. I was helpless to stop it. I was too far gone.

       I had been thinking about Rosie too much. I had been getting to happy. It was crashing down all at once.

       “Will you open the God damn door?” Devin yelled trough the door. I hadn’t even realized he was locked out. In Raychel’s haste to get him he must have forgotten his key. I could have sworn I saw him grab it from the drawer though.

       I crawled out of bed, feeling my stomach stay there. Every noise sounded too loud. Even emotion felt like too much.

       I was succumbing to the pain.

       I opened the door. Devin stared at me wide eyed.

       “What the hell is wrong with you?” he growled. I grimaced and went back to the bed.

       “Everything,” I said, muffled by my pillow.

       “You’re fucking right everything is wrong with you!” he yelled at me. “Olivia had a panic attack! She was in there sobbing when Raychel found her. What the actual hell came over you to touch her? No, to slam her against a wall!”

       The whole ripped open further. “I don’t know what came over me.”

       It was the worst excuse I could think of. It wasn’t even an excuse. I was just a terrible person. I should have been thrown into a room and forgotten, the key thrown away.

       “That is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard Logan. Olivia was just starting to open up and you betrayed her trust!” he said, agreeing to my mental statement.

       I betrayed her trust, broke my promise, and sent her into a panic attack. What else could I fuck up in a matter of seconds? It all seemed pretty bleak so far.

       “I don’t know what to tell you Dev,” I sighed, trying to hold back everything inside. “I feel like the biggest pile of shit.”

       He was silent. I briefly wondered if he left the room. I hadn’t heard the door close.

       “Look at me,” he said quietly. I didn’t want to move but I did as he asked.

       His eyes bored into mine, looking for something.

       “What are you doing?” I sighed. “I just want to be alone.”

       “You’re sick,” he said after another moment. I looked away from him. “We need to take you to the doctor.”

       “He already said there’s nothing ha can do,” I muttered.

       “Well screw what he said!” Devin screamed. “We’ll go somewhere else.”

       “No,” I said.

       “What?”

       “I said no,” I repeated. I could feel the hot prickles snaking up my back. It was unnatural, but I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t hold it in. “There is nothing we can do, just forget about it. It’s not your fucking problem.”

       “Yes it is Lo,” he said. “You’re my brother.”

       “We’re half brothers,” I spat. I couldn’t control it. “We didn’t even live together for the first eleven years of my life. So why don’t you make like a tree and fuck off?”