Chapter 4.

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I was sitting on my bed with my face resting on my knees. I could hear screaming from downstairs, but I wouldn't dare myself to go down and see what was going on. I would take a wild guess and say that it's mum and dad who's fighting again. They haven't been happy together for a while now and even though I don't want to think about it, I know that dad is cheating on mum. I once heard him talking to someone on the phone while he kept moaning like there was no tomorrow. I haven't told anyone about it though. I guess it's mostly because I'm scared that no one in my family would believe me, but also because I don't want want to see my mother in so much pain. I know, she doesn't care about me so I shouldn't care about her, but she's still my mum and I'll always love her. The screaming continued and before I knew it, tears was streaming down my pale cheeks. I don't know why I was crying, but it felt like I couldn't stop. All I want is for everyone to be happy and act like a real family, but that's never going to happen. I was just about to pick up my back pack from the floor and see if I could find my earplugs, when somebody knocked on my door.
- Come in, I said and quickly dried some tears that was still making their way down my cheeks
The door slowly opened and when I saw Max with own tears in his beautiful eyes, my heart broke.
- Max, what's wrong? I asked
- Mum and dad are fighting again, Max answered and carefully sat down on the bed beside me
His body was trembling from the crying and I can't explain with words how much it broke my heart to see my little brother in so much pain. I placed both of my arms around him and felt how he relaxed into the touch which made me feel better.
- Do you think mum and dad will get a divorce? Max asked after a while
- I don't know, I answered
- If they do get a divorce, promise me that you won't ever leave me
His words almost made me flinch. Max has never showed this much emotions, especially not in front of me. He has always convinced everyone that he's strong enough to take care of himself, even though he's only ten years old.
- I'm never going to leave you. No matter what happens, you'll always be my little brother, I said
My answer made Max smile and I couldn't help myself but smile too. Somehow, it felt nice to know that I wasn't the only one in this family who felt alone and broken when it came to things like this.
- Thank you, Alec
We continued sitting beside each other on my bed for a long time. My arms were still around Max body and the only thing that could be heard was our breathings.
- Can I ask you something? Max suddenly said after a while
- Of course
- Are you getting bullied?
- What? I stuttered and felt how my heart started beating faster
- I heard Jace talking to his girlfriend yesterday. He said that you were getting bullied at school by some students. Is it true?
- If I tell you the truth, do you promise me that you won't tell anyone about it? I answered and looked at my little brother with a serious facial expression
- I promise, Max answered
- Yeah, I'm getting bullied. It's not that bad though, don't worry
- Why are they bullying you? Have you done something wrong?
- Honestly, I don't know. I guess that some people enjoy causing other people pain. It's like a sick obsession or something, I answered
- I think you're amazing and if they're bullying you, they're stupid
When those words left Max mouth, I couldn't stop the tears from coming once again. I never thought that I would get to hear something like that from anyone, especially not from someone in my own family.
- Thank you, I whispered and carefully pressed a light kiss against my little bothers forehead
- You deserve happiness too, you know. You're my big brother and I love you, Max answered
- I love you too
Max fell asleep shortly after our conversation ended so I carefully laid him down on my bed without waking him up. As I looked at him, I couldn't help myself from smiling. When he said that he loved me, it felt like I was going to explode. Max is seriously the first one that ever has said those three beautiful words to me and honestly, I didn't want it to be someone else either. Mad was still sleeping on my bed when I woke up the next morning. He looked so much happier in his sleep than he had looked yesterday when he came into my room. I felt proud that he dated to open up about his feelings to me, but at the same time, it broke me. I know how it feels to be scared and honestly, I don't want my little brother to ever go through the same pain that I'm going through constantly everyday. The clock was 7:30am and I knew that I had to leave now or I would be late for school again. Just like yesterday, my first class today was philosophy, meaning that I had to work on a stupid project with the guy who hates me the most, Magnus Bane. To say that I was scared was an understatement. I was fucking terrified. Knowing Magnus, he'll probably keep throwing disgusting words at me while that stupid smirks stays on his beautiful lips. Well, I guess that words is better than the abuse some other bullies in school causes me, but then again, it's easier to heal a physical wound. Mental wounds are much harder to heal. It can take weeks, months and even years to recover from only one disgusting word. When I was satisfied with how I looked and finally had gained a little bit control over my hair, I made sure that Max was up so he wouldn't be late for school and then I started walking myself. The school wasn't too far away from where we lived so if I would miss the buss for some reason, it wouldn't matter because I would still be able to walk and arrive on time. My mum and dad had already left for work since both of their cars were gone and the porch stood empty. I would take a wild guess and say that Jace and Izzy also already had left the house, which doesn't surprise me because just like every other day, they'll do everything they can so they won't have to be seen walking to school with me. My back back was thrown over my shoulder just like yesterday and when I finally saw the enormous building that I hated more than anything, I felt how my heart started beating faster, but I promised myself that I wouldn't cry. I had to be strong, especially in front of Magnus. If I would have a mental breakdown when he's watching, he would never stop bullying me about it. Trust me, it would be a worse hell than having to listen to my parents fighting every damn day. As I reached the front doors, I took one deep breath and walked in, ready to face my destiny as a punching bag.

// TBC \\

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