High School // Malec

Chapter 41.

I couldn't help myself but walk all the way to the cemetery the next day. For some odd reason, I felt the need to see my baby brothers grave with my own eyes and finally allow myself to grieve his death without having to feel weak for doing it. The first thing that I saw when I arrived to his grave was all of the flowers that people had left behind after his funeral. It looked really beautiful and I couldn't help myself but smile. Max would really have loved to see all of this. Every since he was a little kid, he loved flowers so much and from time to time, he actually came home with a bouquet filled with different kinds of coloured flowers that he gave to our mother with a enormous proud smile on his lips.
- I miss you, I whispered with a painful voice and felt how tears made their way down my cheeks
I carefully sat down on the grass in front of his grave, trying to not messing up the beautiful flowers. It was really cold outside and I knew that if I would stay out for too long, I would probably get sick, but I didn't care at all. All I wanted was to spend some time with my little brother and since this was the only way I could do that, it was definitely worth it.
- Nothing is the same without you, Max. Everyone misses you and we barely talk to each other anymore,
I said and let out a loud sigh
Tears was still making their way down my cheeks, but I wasn't even trying to stop them anymore. I knew that holding all of my feelings on the inside wouldn't make me feel better. One thing that I have learnt after so many years of being depressed is that it's okay to cry and feel weak, because just like my mother say, being weak only means that you have been strong for way too long.
- I'll always love you, Max
When those words left my mouth, I stood up from where I was sitting on the ground and started to walk. It wasn't like I had some kind of specific destination, at least not yet. All I knew was that I didn't want to return back home where everyone was sad. I continued walking around the cemetery, looking at different graves that my eyes came across. A lot of graves were covered in beautiful flowers, just like Max's, but there was also some graves that stood empty, almost like no one cared about them. I was just about to head home again when my eyes suddenly came across a way too familiar name on a gravestone.
"Mackenzie Bane"
I stared at the grave and felt how my heart broke into a million pieces. Magnus mother was laying here, where she has been laying for years. To my surprise, there was a fresh bouquet of flowers laying on the grass underneath the gravestone, meaning that someone must have been here recently and left them here. Could it possibly have been Magnus? I mean, who else would have done it? I don't know a lot about his stepfather but I'm pretty sure that he never would come all the way to the cemetery and leave flowers for someone that he obviously doesn't care enough about. The fresh flowers underneath the gravestone gave me hope and before my brain knew what was going on, my hands had already found my phone in my back pocket and started to write a text message.
"Magnus, if you really are back in New York, please call me. I can't keep fighting anymore if you're not in my life. I love you so much"
I sent the message and stared at my phone for what felt like forever, waiting for Magnus to answer. I won't lie, I almost lost all of my hope faster than it came, but when I suddenly felt how my phone vibrated in my hand, I saw how I had received a text message.
"I love you too, Alexander. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can't do this. You hurt me"
His response brought tears to my eyes and once again, I was crying hysterically over the love of my life. Why can't he just understand that I can't keep on living my life without him in it? He's the only one nowadays who keeps me together and without him, I'm devastated.
"Please don't do this, Magnus. I love you so much and I can prove it to you that I'm worthy of your love"
I only stared at my phone, waiting for Magnus to reply. It felt like an eternity and I could practically feel how air in my lungs disappeared.
"Can I come to your place? I really think that we should talk about all of this face to face, not over some kind of stupid text message"
His answer made me laugh out in happiness. I can't believe that he actually asked me if he could come to my place and talk to me. After so long, I'll finally be able to see the love of my fucking life again.
"Yes"
As fast as I had sent him my response, I started to walk home faster than I thought was possible. The day I had been waiting for was finally here and I couldn't wait to see Magnus with my own eyes again.

// TBC \\

Q: Do you guys even like this book anymore? 🙈