High School // Malec

Chapter 12.

I was sitting on the floor in the shower, crying my eyes out. The lyric of my favourite song was on repeat in my head, making me cry even harder. My meeting with Magnus earlier today made me hate myself more than I thought was possible. How can I have been so stupid to forget all about him and our past? After all these years and Magnus still hasn't forgiven me, but who can blame him? I was so excited to finally have a brother that I didn't even notice how much pain I caused him. I left him all alone when he needed me the most. Honestly, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him to lose his mother. I may not remember much of our friendship, but one thing I do remember is how much he loved his mother. It breaks my heart to know that she left Magnus when he was only nine years old. How many times did he cry himself to sleep? How many times has he been standing at her grave, screaming out in pain? My head started spinning from all the different thoughts that had taken over my poor brain. All I wanted to do was run over to Magnus house and throw my arms around him, but I know that I'm never going to be able to hug him again. He hates me more than anything in this world and even though I still can wish that I was in a relationship with him, he's together with Camille. The thought of them together made me want to puke. Camille is nothing more than trouble and I know that she's going to hurt Magnus sooner or later. I guess I just have to accept the fact that no matter what I do or how many times I apologise, things will never be the same as they were years ago. Somehow, the tears finally stopped making their way done my cheeks. I stepped out of the shower and quickly dried my body with a towel. Minutes later I stood in the middle of my room, fully dressed and ready to get some sleep and forget all about this day, but as I laid down and just was about to close my eyes, a loud knock was heard.
- Come in, I said with a tired voice
The door opened and Izzy stepped into the room. When she saw me laying in my bed, she gave me a smile and laid down beside me.
- Are you okay? She asked and placed both of her arms around me
- No, I answered
- Do you want to talk about it? I promise that I won't tell anyone about it if you don't want to
- I met Magnus at the support meeting today, I said and sighed
- Magnus Bane? Izzy asked and looked at me with wide eyes
- Yeah, I stuttered
- Wait a minute, Magnus was at the support meeting? Why?
- I don't know, but I think it has something to do with his mother
- His mother? Izzy asked
- She killed herself when he was only nine years old, I answered
- Did Magnus tell you that?
- I wanted to know why he hates me so much so I asked him. He got angry that I didn't remember anything about our past, but when he told me, it was like all of my memories came back in flashes
- Meaning? Izzy asked
- Me and Magnus used to be best friends when we were nine years old. He had moved from Indonesia with his mother and stepfather, but since he had a slightly darker skin tone than everybody else in our class, everyone thought he was weird. I was the only one who payed attention to him and before I knew it, we were best friends, I answered
- If you guys were best friends, what happened? What did you do to make him hate you so much?
- I left him all alone, I answered
- Why? Izzy said
- Remember when mum and dad adopted Jace? That's when I found myself slipping further and further away from Magnus and one day, we weren't even looking at each other
- Alec, it's really not your fault. You were happy that you had gained a brother, Izzy said and dragged her hand through my raven black hair
- If I just hadn't been so stupid, the two of us might still have been friends. I shouldn't have left him, Izzy. He needed me more than ever and I disappointed him, I said and felt how tears started making their way down my cheeks once again
- Magnus mother, when did she kill herself? Do you know? Izzy asked
- Only a couple of days after Jace came into our lives. Magnus said that he had tried to talk to me, but I was too far up my own ass that I didn't notice that he was hurting
- You should talk to him
- Are you out of your mind? Magnus hates me so much, I answered
- I don't think he hates you, Alec. You guys were young and a lot of things happened in your lives, but he doesn't hate you, Izzy answered
- He said that he hated me for surviving my suicide attempt
- What? Izzy stuttered
- He said that he hated me because I survived and his mum didn't, I said and dried some tears that were still making their way down my cheeks
- Do you maybe want me to talk to him? Izzy asked and looked at me
- No, I don't want him to hurt you
- Please, let me talk to him. I hate seeing you like this. You're my big brother and I love you
- You do realise that he's three years older than you, right? I asked
- Like that's going to stop me. Maybe you haven't realised it, but I'm pretty badass, Izzy answered
- I won't disagree on that
My answer made Izzy let out a quiet chuckle and honestly, I couldn't help myself but laugh too. The whole situation was so painful that I didn't even know how to handle it.
- If you're going to talk to Magnus, promise me that you'll run if he does anything that makes you think that he's going to hit you, I said and looked at my baby sister
- Of course, she answered with a beautiful smile on her lips

// TBC \\

Q: Will Izzy talk to Magnus and if she does, what will they say? Comment what you think😘