Begin The Begin

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The thing about new beginnings is that they require something else to end.
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Grace scowled when she saw one of her interns. 'You, go home.'

'Doctor Mason?'

'You heard the announcement, eighty hours. I already limited to ninety but you just hit your 83rd hour. Go home.'

The intern looked down at the charts she was holding. 'But – '

'Now.' Grace said in a low voice.

'Yes, Ma'am.' And she was gone.

Doctor Kay chuckled across the room gaining her attention. 'How many are you on, Kay?'

'I'm in the sixties Doctor Mason,' he replied with a grin. 'I'm not stupid enough to risk your ire by going over.'

Grace chuckled as they headed into the next patient's room.
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'Hey, Addie,' Grace said as the elevator doors opened and her friend stepped out.

'Morning, Grace,' Addie replied with a smile as she walked off and Grace got on the elevator.

'Derek, morning.'

Derek nodded at her. 'Grace, didn't see you much over the holidays, how have you been?'

'Good, kept busy. You?'

'Not too bad. Addie doesn't like the trailer.' He said with a slight smile, Grace knew there was more to that, she talked with Addie after all, but didn't say anything. 'Did you do anything special?'

Grace shrugged and spoke carefully. 'Same as I usually do, put up too many decorations, spent time with…friends,' the air grew tense at the unmentioned name. 'Drank too much, made some resolutions that probably won't last past January. Oh, I said thanks for picture frame, right?'

'Yes,' Derek said with a tight smile. 'You mentioned it last week. And the hamper you put together was great, I loved the marinade for fish you made me.'

'Good, I'm glad. Did Addie like the tea blend I got?'

Derek nodded as he stepped out of the elevator. 'Yeah, you know how she loves tea before bed. I'll see you later.'

'See you.'
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Grace sat in the seat behind Miranda on the flight to Twin Falls, Idaho. She'd been talking with a doctor there and was taking copies of case studies over for him since the opportunity presented itself.

She was reading a medical journal and saw Yang staring at Miranda's stomach from the corner of her eye. Then she saw Miranda open her eyes and catch the intern staring.

'Yang. Why are you staring at my fat pregnant belly?'

Grace withheld sniggers as Yang apologised.

'Sorry. I…' Yang trailed off and looked out the window.

Grace exchanged a knowing look with Miranda through the gap in the seats, but neither of them said anything. 'Not fat, by the way, just pregnant.'

'I'm carrying an extra thirty pounds – '
'Twenty eight.'

Miranda glared at her. 'And I'll damn well call myself fat if I want to!'

Grace pulled a packet from her bag and held it over the top of the seats. 'Strawberry muffin?' Knowing full well that Miranda wouldn't resist. Anything strawberry flavoured disappeared quick around Miranda since she'd been pregnant.

'You're still annoying,' Miranda said as she snatched the bag from her hand.

On the flight back, Grace was experiencing a déjà vu.

'Yang.'

Yang looked away, and then back. 'You know what's wrong with having an 80-hour limit? It protects the weak. It levels the playing field. Which not only sucks, it's-it's dangerous.'

Grace wondered where the hell this random topic came from.

'Eighty-hour work week?' Miranda said slowly. 'That's what's on your mind?' They all knew it wasn't and after a moment Miranda continued. 'I thought about it. Not keeping it.'

Yang looked at her hands briefly. 'You did?'

'My husband and I, we tried for years. But still, when that stick turned blue…You can't work the way we work, you can't want the kind of careers that we want and not take…a pause. I took a pause.'

'You paused?' Yang asked, hanging onto every word.

'I paused. I paused a very long time.' Miranda trailed off, caught in her thoughts.

Yang waited a moment. 'So, why did you…?'

'I sat up one night, the middle of the night…and I knew, I could do this.' Miranda shifted slightly, her tone changing a bit lighter. 'I still don't know how I'm gonna do this, but…I knew I could do it. You just have to know. And when you don't know, no one can fault you for it. You do what you can, when you can, while you can. And when you can't, you can't.'

Yang nodded slightly and caught Grace's gaze.

'It was my last year of med school, just a one night stand where I forget to be careful. But I was determined to finish, and determined pursue my career. But then I was attacked and I lost him, so it wasn't on the books for me.'

'You…you didn't pause?' Yang asked hesitantly.

Grace chuckled sadly. 'Quite a few times. I would just stop, and wonder what the hell I was doing. But I wanted him more than the uncertainty scared me. And afterwards…' She stopped and smiled at Cristina. 'In my line of work, I've dealt with situations like Doctor Bailey's, I've dealt with situations like mine and I've dealt with situations like yours. Everyone deals with it differently, and every reaction, every decision is valid.'

Yang nodded again and went back to looking out the window.

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