------------- This chapter is dedicated to my friend Camila, because it's her birthday and she absolutely adores John <3 so here, have some jawn <3 ------------------------
John's POV
I heard the rustling of Maya's sheets as she woke up and got up. I didn't know if I could follow her. Would she tell me to go away? or Would she need company? I wondered for a while, trying to think it through. I decided the second choice was very much likely, so I got up, trying hard not to make any noise and headed for the balcony, rubbing my eyes and brushing the hair away from my face.
As usual, she was smoking on the balcony, she had a notebook on her lap and she was scribbling furiously with her right hand while she held the cigarette to her mouth with her left . She didn't look up as I opened the door and sat in front of her.
'' How are you doing?'' I asked, trying to look at her face. She didn't look up, she slightly nodded and concentrated again on what she was writing. Say something, say something. Though let it not be a foolish comment.
'' I don't think I have been in the same situation as you are, Paul would understand you more on that matter but, my mother was never there for me when I needed her, Mimi, her sister was, so Mimi became my true mother. I can't tell you not to grieve and cry but at least, cherish the moments you had with her, your whole life, cherish all the lessons your learnt with her, all the things you shared and smile because they happened. I know it is hard, but she's up there, you know? She's watching over you, right now, and she'll always be here, in your heart. You'll always have the memory of her in your head, and you have to remember her with joy. You have to keep living, for her, do the things you want to do, because she'd be proud of her beautiful daughter. You're talented, love. You can sing, you can play an instrument and I can sense that you can write now that I see you. '' she didn't say anything, but her scribbling slowed down. '' I'll leave you to your thoughts if you want.'' I said, smiling a little, and getting up. She lifted her eyes up to meet mine. I saw all the pain reflected in them and I hesitated.
'' Stay'' she said so low I didn't hear her, I read it on her lips. I sat beside her, not touching her, and she moved a little so we both fit. I felt the cold railing of the balcony against my back and wondered what it would be like to fall. I could feel Maya moving beside me, as she kept scribbling. '' May I ask what you're writing?'' I said, trying to glance at the paper.
'' I'm writing down my dreams.'' she said very softly, her voice weak.
'' Why is my name on it?'' I said, grinning a little as I sighted my name and then my grin turned a little sad as I sighted Paul's, George's and Ringo's names too.
'' You died. My parents. My Grandparents. The Beatles. They all died. I couldn't do anything. I was utterly alone.'' she said, pausing after each short sentence. Her eyes became watery and tears started rolling down her cheek.
'' Hey. Listen to me, I'm here, I'm alive. The other three boys are alive, your father, your grandparents, your mother isn't dead either, she isn't dead in spirit, you're not alone. You've got all of us. And I'm not going anywhere.'' I said, taking her face in my hands and tipping it up so I could look into her eyes. '' I don't want to go anywhere. I'm alright right here, with you.'' I continued. She nodded and closed her eyes while silent tears rolled down her face.
'' It doesn't feel real.'' she said, and I waited for her to continue. '' I mean, I can't believe she's gone. I don't feel it either. It's as if she's gone on a trip, and she's disconnected and I can't talk to her. I'd love to tell her about all of you. She'd be excited. She's very fond of the Beatles. Was. Is. She still is.'' she said, her voice a mere whisper. '' She taught me French, and Edith Piaf, she introduced me to everything I love, music and litterature. She's not gone. Yet. I can't feel like she is. I don't know how to explain.'' I stared at her,truly trying to understand and I nodded. She stopped scribbling and she pulled both hers hand on her lap, extinguishing the cigarette against the balcony floor and dumping it in a small ash tray. She sighed and stared at the cars. I took her hand, gave it a squeeze and let it go again. She smiled a little, just a small light lift at the edges of her lips and she leant her head against my shoulder.
'' I like you.'' I said, in a whisper.
'' I know.'' she whispered back. She didn't say anything for a while.
'' Good night.'' I said, suddenly tired, while I stood up. She stood up too and she followed me inside. Ringo was snoring softly by the couch, his shiny new camera on his stomach, going up and down to the rhythm of his breathing. I took the camera and smiled at Maya. She stared at me, her expression blank and she covered her face.
'' Please.'' I begged. She sighed and dropped her hands. She stared at the wall and I took the shot. I had a piece of Maya with me now, and no one could take that away from me. I placed the camera gently on Ringo's stomach again and I opened my arms out to Maya. She hesitated for a moment and she hugged me. I buried my face in her hair, breathing in her lovely apple scent and wishing to kiss her. We stayed entwined for a while. She looked up at me and I kissed her forehead, then her nose, and then softly, her lips. She didn't move, she didn't respond, she just stared with those green eyes of hers, she stared straight and deep into my soul.
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Maya's POV
I felt surprisingly comfortable in John's arms. I buried my face in his chest, wishing I could be there forever but I knew I had to get back to reality, at least for a while. I looked up at him, wanting to tell him that I had to go to bed but he surprised me by kissing my forehead, my nose, and then my lips. I froze, gazing into those milky brown eyes of his. Letting the brown engulf me and wrap around me like a soft quilt, making me feel not only warm but safe.
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