falling in leaves

fifty four

"lost war"

The night I came home from the grocery store was supposed to be a break through for Juwan and I, and it was. It just wasn't a breakthrough in the way we had hoped.

That night, I'd made my way to the store to get some groceries. Juwan was drinking yet again, the sight of him doing so frustrating me. The grocery trip was to serve as not just shopping but therapy in a sense. I just needed some me time, apart from Juwan.

And while I was there, I ran into Ava. That's how I found out that Juwan had been leaving me in the dark, once again.
When I confronted him, I informed him of how I found out, when I found out, and just how torn up I was about it. I mean— we've been dealing with this shit for what felt like forever. How hard was it to be honest?

But I couldn't be too mad. I was guilty of lying by way of omission. The fact I left out was better off being unknown anyway. It just wasn't the time, but since then, the event had been weighing on me like textbooks in a backpack.

I was roaming the produce aisle, having just picked up some fruit and a couple of potatoes. Humming softly and allowing my eyes to dance along the section of lunch meat briefly, I turned the corner that would lead me down the back section that held other refrigerated meats and dairy products.

In doing so, I spotted Ava nearly on the opposite side of the store. I almost didn't piece together the fact that it was her, seeing as though her hair was now more of a burgundy color. Not to mention, she was with somebody. . . It wasn't just anybody either.

It was Marlo. Butterflies flooded my insides at the sight of his smooth skin of caramel and his silky hair confined to various two-strand twists. He gave that timid smile to her, and I knew whatever words escaped his lips laid onto her ears the way dew fell onto grass blades in the early morning. I reveled in his appearance, part of me wanting to get close enough just to inhale his being and exhale the despair that began reforming inside of my soul.

His hands joined behind his back as they continued to walk and converse. The sight of no visible romance put me at ease, but the deep-down feeling of them being involved loomed over me. I sighed quietly, my eyes continuing to trace his physique. He was in all black, a gold chain and only a couple of matching rings accenting his look. The ensemble served as a beautiful contrast to what I was accustomed to seeing him in.

He was still so fine.

I watched him say something with a growing smile on his face, and whatever it was must've been funny. Ava was laughing loud enough for me to hear her from where I stood, and after Ava attempted to hide her smile and cease her laughter, Marlo added something else to his dialogue.