Chapter 15
Adam
"Wow wow, fuck, give me a minute. This is this is a lot to absorb. Just a minute." I leaned forward kissed her forehead and stood walking over to the barrier of the patio looking out to Greater LA below. Normally one of my favourite views in the world tonight ur was just a blur of lights and green. My internal dialogue was a lot of brief fleeting intermittent thoughts, not really collecting. I have a son. I'm a father. I have been for 3 years. Noah. Wholey fuck. A son. Me a father fuck. Fuck.
Still steering out beyond me barely more than a whisper "does he look like me?"
"I've seen pictures of you as a child, he's like a carbon copy of you with my nose thankful." I could hear the warmth, the love in her voice. " I have pictures if you want to see. I turned as she pulled out her iPhone. Sitting down next to her she handed me the phone. "Press play I made you a video from the day he was born till last week."
I hesitated for only a second it was now or never watching this video would make it real. I took the phone and pressed play.
As the video begun a wrinkly red and white newborn was on the screen panning to Bianca with a look of awe on her face steering down at this little bundle. It went through a chubby baby, a cute little laughing toddler, first steps, birthdays. He really looked like me.
Before I even knew it I felt a dampness to my cheeks, I rarely overtly showed that kind of emotion externally I was a man after all, guys who cry all the time freak me out. Like it's ok to cry at a really sad movie, at a loss but come on man up.
Bianca had been standing behind me watching she leaned down, wrapping her arms around my neck and rested her cheek head on my head after kissing it.
The video ended by a him jumping excitedly while strapped in his cat seat as one of our songs played on the radio going "mummy, mummy! It's daddy rock star"
I placed the phone down took a deep sigh. Was silent for the briefest of moments turned around to face Bianca
"I want to meet him."
