It's September and I need a roommate. I couldn't live in the dorms anymore. I was fed up of being paired with idiots. I was done sharing my kitchen and my bathroom with an entire floor. When I signed the lease for my apartment, I did it with the guy...
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It's February and I meet Ben. I went out at a bar like a complete loser on Valentine's Day because my sister had plans with her boyfriend, all my friends were either with their significant others or already had plans and I didn't want to be anywhere near Holt.
So, like a complete loser, I'm sitting at a bar nursing a cranberry vodka, because I'm trying to be festive and I'm failing miserably and I'm just feeling sorry for myself.
There's this hot dude across the bar with a group of friends and he's especially hot, and of course I'm not above ogling at smexy dudes so I get my money's worth.
I totally get busted. From across the room, I guess he felt my gaze, because all of a sudden he's staring right back at me, and I've never been one to shy away from awkward situations so I don't turn my gaze and he's smirking at me and I'm thinking come to daddy and what do you know, suddenly he's walking my way.
Maybe he can read minds. Maybe I have controlling powers. Maybe I'm shitfaced. WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
What I do know is that sexy boy walks all the way up to me, sits on the stool beside mine and says, "You might want to take a picture, it'll last longer." Aw, that's so cheesy and not in a good way.
And the alcohol is making me eloquent unlike him because I blurt out like a damn poet, "Ah but see, the thing is it'll make it permanent and isn't something so much more irresistible if it's fleeting?"
He smuggles his laughs in his hand, and he's looking at me like I'm amusing and fascinating and it's scary how good it feels, to have someone look at me like that, like I'm brand new. "Who hurt you?" he asks, still smiling.
I roll my eyes. "The crushing weight of my existence." And his name is Holt.
"I know a couple of ways that could make you forget about that."
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah."
Just like that he grabs my hand and he's dragging me out of the bar towards the alley
So, I might be a big ol' flooze, but I'd never actually done it out in the open with someone I've barely said less than twenty words to. I enjoy the sanctity of a bedroom. I'm a queen, I gotta be laid in on silk sheets, not taken against a brick wall like a peasant.
But apparently I am a peasant, because that's totally what happens.
He's got me pinned against the wall and he's kissing the life out of me and his hand goes in my pants and it's been so long since anyone's touched me and I'm drunk so I let him do whatever he wants when he flips me around and keeps me pinned against the wall, my chest pressed against it and he's pulling my pants down and I'm panting like damn pug.
What happens is not classy, if anyone were to walk into that alley they'd probably think a felony was taking place and they'd immediately call 911.
I don't care. He came prepared and he feels so good, and it's been so long and he wants me.
I've felt unwanted for so long that I actually think I might cry.
When we're done I'm just crouching, back against the wall, trying to get my breath back and to feel my legs again. I can't stay upright.
And he's looking down at me, and he runs a hand through his hair and he looks sheepish. "Sorry that was kind of rude. I just really wanted you."
I stare back at him. "Right back at you."
He chuckles, still looking a little awkward, his cheeks pink, his hair tousled and his pants still unzipped. "I'm Ben by the way."
