Braver Than I Used to Be

Chapter Five

It was about seven at night and I had at least fifty missed calls between my brother, mother and father. I wasn't ready to deal with them. Matthew and I sat in his truck in the parking lot close to the ice cream shop.

"I forgot to ask, how is your face?" I said.

"Ah, it's fine, I think I have some bruising happening. No big deal. Your hands? "

"I am sure they need some ice." I threw my head back as he tossed a jellybean in the air. With my mouth wide open I caught it. He then tossed his head back and mouth open so I could toss him a jellybean.

"We can ice it."

"No, I don't really care right now."

My phone rang again. I silenced it, but it lite up every time it rang.

"You should just answer it."

"No, it's Ray. You answer it." I laughed, but then he picked up the phone and slid it to answer.

"Hello?" He said.

"What are you doing, I was joking!" I said.

"Rita, you have to let them know you are okay at some point." Matthew argued. "Hello?" He said into the phone again.

I couldn't hear what was happening on the other end, just a bunch of "uh huhs" and "yeahs" from Matthew. "She will be home soon, when she is ready. She is feeling a lot of things too." Then there was some silence and a "goodbye".

"Was he yelling and screaming?"

He shook his head, "No, not at all, he was crying. He said to tell you he is sorry and that he really needs to talk to you. He asked me to please bring you home because he was worried about you and to please tell you how sorry he is." He said quietly.

I nodded, holding back my own tears. "Let's go."

Ray has never cried, at least not in front of me. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I was still angry with him, but I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him still but I was still mad.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" He asked when he pulled up to my house.

"It's okay, I am sure it will be really awkward."

"I'm not worried about feeling awkward. I feel like he is about to tell you something important. Don't ask me why, but I have a bad feeling."

This set off an internal panic. I didn't want to think about it. "Up to you. Guess my parents can meet the guy I fought my brother for."

I opened the door and slid out. He turned the truck off and followed behind me.

When I opened the front door, I was bombarded with the same question over and over from my parents. "Where have you been!"

Ray ran down the stairs and scooped me up and held me tight. At first, my body was rigid, but I remembered he had been crying, so I hugged him back as tight as I could. I didn't want him to think I didn't love him or that I had chosen Matthew over him. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

I thought about saying it back, but I wasn't that sorry.

"Who is this!" My mother said. Ray put me down and she had a disgusted look on her face as if I had brought in a dead animal.

"Mom, dad, this is Matthew. He is my boyfriend."

They both stood there looking between the three of us as if there were some sort of misunderstanding.

"But you aren't allowed to date." My mother said. Her expression changed to something I wasn't expecting, she looked concerned and a bit scared.

"Things happen." Ray answered. "I think it is time we tell her. We can't keep doing this to her."