Braver Than I Used to Be

Chapter Twenty-Two

I rode my bike home after sitting and watching a movie with Janice. I called Ray and told him I was riding my bike back home. He wanted to pick me up, but I didn't want to be picked up. I wanted the time to think of how I was going to tell Ray and my dad that I wanted to call mom's family. Ray would not a approve, my dad just might.

It was around two when I got home and Matthew was in my room and Ray was in his. I noticed my dad's car in the driveway, so I went to see him first.

"Hi Daddy." I said standing in the doorway to his room.

He turned and gave me a sweet smile, "Hi Buttercup, are you okay?"

"I've been better. But I think I will be okay."

"Ray told me what happened with your mom."

"Yeah, it was pretty rough, but I think I want to know more. I want to talk to her family myself. And I want to know what happened with the trial. How did I end up on the stand? Why does she say it is my fault he went to prison?"

My dad sighed, he had to have known this day was going to come. "I will give you their number, and you can call your grandmother whenever you are ready. She's nice, good people. She will be honest with you about everything and everyone. She's been dying to talk to you and see you, but we just never let it happen. You guys are her only grandkids."

"Then why take us away from her?"

"That was my doing, I didn't trust anyone, especially from her family. After all these years though, she still asks me to see you guys and each year I turn her down."

I nodded, "Okay, well that is good to know. And what happened with the trial?"

This, I could tell was a bit harder for my dad, he became very uncomfortable. "You and your brother were supposed to go up there and tell the jury what happened. But we gave you guys the choice. If you guys didn't want to do it, we wouldn't make you. Both of you agreed to do it. It was a hard case, all we had was the word of two six-year olds, but an exam showed you had been raped. The defense of course said it could have been anyone else, tried to make us look like bad parents. Only choice was put you on the stand and Ray too. The day before Ray backed out. He didn't want to do it. I don't blame him. The court room was scary and so was the stand once you realized everyone could see you. But you, you didn't care, you were going to tell your story even if it killed you. You wanted the man that threatened to kill your brother put away. The lawyer always said your testimony is what did it. Had you not gone up on that stand, there was a chance he may have been let off." He took a deep breath and rubbed his head, "After that, the both of you were never the same. Ray saw how brave you were to get on the stand, but he also saw how much it destroyed you. That boy wanted to be as brave as you. After the trial you were silent for about two weeks, that is when Ray started taking care of you himself. I think he decided that he was going to be brave for you from that day on. And he has never stopped."

I set my head in my hands and cried.

"I remember the trial, every day." I looked up to see Ray leaning in the doorway. "I was so scared of him and of the lawyers, I couldn't do it. The night before you went up, you told me not to worry, that you would tell the truth so they wouldn't need me to go up there."

Suddenly I pictured us both lying in bed together and me whispering to him not to worry. I was looking out for him because I knew he was scared.

"Whenever I don't want to do something or something terrifies me, I remember this six-year-old girl telling me not to worry, because she would do it for the both of us. I remember that little girl protecting me every single day. Then I remember her crying on the stand because her Uncle told her he would kill me if she ever told anyone. She went up there because she didn't want me to die." Ray wiped his face and came to kneel down in front of me. "That little girl gives me strength every single day. And every day that I see you, I know I must protect you, just like you did for me."