Braver Than I Used to Be

Chapter Nine

The next four days were interesting, in a good way. We ate cheesecake so that I wouldn't kick Matthew while I slept. We went to the movies, started showing Matthew how to cook, and me how to drive. I didn't like driving, I decided I'd wait a few more months before doing it again. I checked in with Janice and gave my mom her address, she brought her the biggest bouquet of flowers she could find. My mom said they talked and she could see why I liked her.

My mother's mood over the time improved a ton, she was turning into this person I felt I have never known. She even laughed while observing Me, Matthew and Ray trying to catch jellybeans in our mouths. I can't even remember the last time I heard her laugh.

We had fun on our extra days off. There was only one thing that worried me because I knew if I didn't have constant control, I could open the door up a lot easier now and lose myself. I fought at times to stay calm and push it away. One of the nights I was sleeping and for some reason I woke up. Matthew wasn't there like he had been when I went to sleep. Instantly I panicked and realized I was afraid to be in bed alone. I began to cry and curled my knees up because I was terrified that my uncle could walk through that door. The rational part of me knew he wouldn't, but there was no reasonable state of mind when you were scared.

Matthew had come back in and saw me sitting there curled up, crying.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, pushing my hair back.

"I'm scared to sleep alone." I sobbed.

"Honey, you aren't alone. I'm right here. I just went to the bathroom."

"I know, " I sniffled, "You weren't here when I woke up and I don't know, I just panicked."

He climbed back in the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms. "It's okay my love, he is never coming back. I'm not going anywhere." He stroked my hair until I fell back asleep. That was my first sign that I could get worse, but I didn't let it take over me.

On Thursday Ray and I waited for Matthew in the parking lot of the school. I wanted to say it was weird having a third person around, but it wasn't. I was surprised at how well Matthew fit in with both Ray and me. He was understanding and didn't make things weird or awkward, and most of all Matthew and Ray got along so well. You'd think they were secretly best friends all these years.

Matthew took my hand and the three of us walked into school. I'm sure you can imagine the looks we got after our display on Friday. Every head turned in our direction and Matthew kept his head down to laugh.

"Is this what it is like for you guys every day?" Matthew said.

"You're so ridiculous, people don't just stare at us all the time. They probably just heard Ray was single."

"Incoming." Matthew said and we both saw what he meant. Maggie was making her way over to us and she did not look happy.

"Ray, please tell me you didn't break up with her in a text." I say.

"You know I am bad with break ups."

"A text message! Really Raymond! And because of your sister? What is wrong with you? She was over there sneaking around with your enemy behind your back!" Maggie stopped us in the hallway to make a scene. "Then on top of that you don't even respond to any of my texts!"

Ray didn't do well with verbal arguments. That was usually my area. "First off Maggie, don't speak on things you don't understand. Second, you knew the deal when you started dating him, we are a package, you can't break apart the package and expect it to still work." I told her.

Her face started turning red. "Who takes their sister on their dates? You two are so fucking weird! You can't possibly think he," She pointed at Matthew, "will deal with having a third wheel all the time! No one wants that! I don't care how obsessed he has been with you!"