Fixing You (Complete)

Chapter 18: Because of You

A/N: Hey loves! You'll be happy to hear that there'll only be about one or two chapters left of the book after this chapter is posted! :D Sosososososo soooooooooo excited! :DD <333 Anyway, chapter 18. Enjoy! This chapter's incredibly suspensful and is a major part in the story. PLEASE COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! :) Votes are appreciated as well, but before you go, please leave a comment. <3 :*

Ashley

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Chapter 18

Kendall's POV

As I drove home, I cried more than I ever cried before. My face was blotchy and red, my hands cold and clammy. Gripping the steering wheel from pure rage, my knuckles turned white.

I was currently speeding, going a whole seventy-five miles per hour, but right now, I didn't care if I got pulled over. It was eleven thirty at night. My hair was stringy and clinging to my face from the wetness of my tears, and I looked a mess.

High beams lit brightly through the back of the car. Turning around and looking out the window, I noticed Cole was following me. I sped down the street even more than I originally was, desperate to get away from all the madness.

He called me repeatedly on my cell, but each time, I would press ignore. After ten times, I got fed up, powered my cell off, and threw it in the back seat.

Finally pulling into the driveway of my hotel, I parked the car and slammed the door shut. I ran to the elevator, and before Cole could come in, pressed number six. Elevator music played around me, causing my anger to increase even more. When the elevator finally opened, I ran down the hall. To the left, I spotted Cole, who'd decided to take the stairs as an easier and faster mechanism to reach me.

I ran even more, screaming from sadness and crying, tears continuing to pour down my face. I grabbed the door handle and slammed the door in Cole's face.

"Kendall, open up! Let me explain!" He shouted, but all I heard was a muffled sound behind the closed white door.

"Leave me alone! I hate you!" I shouted back. He knocked and knocked, desperate to get my attention, but I didn't care. After what I saw, all I wanted to do was leave the earth.

I sunk down onto the floor, knees drawn to my chest, pressed against the door. My back heaved as I cried into my cold, shaking hands.

I felt Cole kick the door in rage before walking away, finally giving up the fight.

Thinking of the memory of last night made me shudder.

I sit on the bathroom floor, door locked, as I cry into my clammy hands. How could he have done this to me? How could he have cheated on me, after all we've been through?

To say I was heartbroken was a complete understatement. I was so happy being with Cole. He treated me like a princess, nothing less. And then suddenly, I catch him cheating on me with some skank? 

Just the thought of it makes me cry hysterically, almost having a fit. I grip the freshly-sharpened razor beneath my hand as I watch a trail of blood fall from my palm and onto the tile floor.

 The look of the blood sends me into an odd state, one where it's almost captivating and manipulating, like the sight of the blood is taunting me, asking for more. I stare at it and watch as it dots on the ground. 

With that, I slice away. One, two, three clean slits across my wrist. Looking at the already-punctured wounds wasn't enough. Four, five, six, seven... on the other. I sit surrounded by a pool of my own blood. 

I run a bath, making sure the water is scalding hot before stripping of my clothes and stepping in. I let the water consume me, take me to a place where I can no longer be harmed. My head is under in a heartbeat and in a matter of seconds, my lungs fill with so much water I can barely breathe. The  water is pulling me under, as if it's been waiting for me forever. I close my eyes and drift away as my body becomes pale and limp.

~

Cole's POV

I've been texting, calling, and even emailing Kendall for the past two days. No response. If only she'd give me some time to explain.  That's all I want. 

On the second day of trying frantically to get her attention, I received a text message:

I'm not going to waste my time over you. You're nothing to me. All I want is for you to realize that and leave me alone.

Reading it hurt. It felt like a million pins and needles were being pierced into my skin at once. 

Since then, I've called Rebecca, telling her to leave me alone and stop trying to contact me. I never even go to the bookstore anymore since she's there. 

I sit on my king sized bed staring at the ceiling. How could this be happening to me? I wonder. A single tear slips from my eye, but instead of wiping it away, I let it fall. 

Just then, my cell vibrates under the covers. A text from Kendall:

Goodbye, Cole. Forever. 

xx, Ken 

At first, I thought she was stating it to break up with me, but then I got worried. What if she'd done something horrible, all because of me? What if she put a gun to her head and shot herself, falling off the balcony and onto the cobble road? What if it was all because of me?

I jump out of the tangled sheets, grab my car keys from my dresser, and run to the car. I try to start the car, but I'm so nervous I can't even get the key in the hole. Calm down, Cole. She's fine. I try to reassure myself. After taking a deep breath, I steady my trembling hand and start the car.

Once I reach the hotel, I knock on the door. "Ken, it's me." No response. I knocked a few more times, steady knocks I'd hope she would hear. "Come on, Ken. This isn't funny. Open up..." I started to sweat, thinking of what could be beyond that door. My palms were sweating, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was get in there and make sure she was okay.

Since I knew she wasn't going to answer, I felt around the top of the door frame for the key. She always left it there in case I ever wanted to come over. Putting the key in the lock, I flung the door open. I pretty much tore the place apart looking for her. It wasn't even that big. Where could she be?

I tried all the doors until I reached the main hall. Looking down at the floor, I notice I'm stepping in a puddle of water, flooding out into the living room and seeping into the dingy carpet. I try the handle, but it doesn't budge. "Kendall, I'm coming!" I shout, and do everything in my power to get the door open.

With enough power and strength, I break the handle off. What I see almost sends me into shock.

Kendall lies naked in the porcelain tub, a huge pool of blood on the floor. Her whole body is underwater and her beautiful red hair is floating all around her. Pinks and reds swirl around in the water, swiveling down the drain.

"Kendall!" I scream once I register what's going on. "Kendall!" I pull her out of the water and lay her on a towel, trying to do CPR. After pushing down on her chest, nothing happens. Her body remains motionless on the cold tile floor.

I hold her hand and dial 9-1-1 as tears spew out of my eyes. This can't be happening, This can't be happening, I mumble over and over, my teeth chattering, lips trembling. This is all my fault. I try to steady my breaths, but nothing will help.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" A monotone voice asks through the receiver.

"My girlfriend..." I look down at her limp body, cold to the touch. "Sh-....She's..." I can barely get the words out, from crying so much. I sit the phone beside me and caress her hand with my fingertips. "Sir? Sir? An ambulance will be there momentarily." The lady says.

I hold Kendall's hand and examine the cuts up and down her arms. I kiss each one softly, as if pressing my lips too hard to her skin will break her. "It's gonna be okay, Ken. I'm here." I whisper, tucking a stand of her wet red hair behind her ear, "I'll never leave you..."