anxious | jack avery

8.

[jack]
my heart did a backflip everytime i'd look over to zach. his head was sunken in his hoodie as he was trying to beat corbyn in an 8 ball game.
"fuck"
"language herron"
he looked up to show innocence in his eyes. he rummaged his phone back into his pocket as he bounced on the bed.
"i'm bored"
"you're always bored"
zach cocked his head to think. his gaze shifted from his hands to my hair rubbing his fingers through every curl.
"you didn't do your hair today"
"yeah i didn't feel like it"
zach smiled.
"let's do something stupid"
i shook my head.
"zachary no"
he folded a piece of my hair in between two fingers.
"no zach"
"i'll get a perm"
my eyes widened. zach? getting a perm? i'd kill myself if he did anything to ruin that mushroom.
"no!"
"just a lil' curly like last time!"
he pouted as he looked up at me.
"...your crazy"
"that's why you love me" he said cheekily.
the next thing you know is zach and i are at the hair salon. the lady starts to wet my hair. i hold zach's hand.
"i hate you"
zach rolled his eyes snap chatting the whole thing.
"hey guys welcome back to the channel. it really isn't a channel this is only for daniel to see"
i laughed.
"ok so we have a wild jack avery spotting doing what? cutting his hair? ohhh shits boutta go down"
i double clicked his phone to flip to selfie to show zach's hair in process.
"jacky!" he said moving his phone out of my sight.
jacky. that made me get butterflies.
"anyway so basically we're doing some wild shit"
"it was zach's idea" i called in the background.
"don't listen to him" zach said ending the snap. he looked back up and smiled in my direction. then i felt the first snip. and a curl landed on my shoulder.
"shit"
zach watched in awe as my hair got shorter and shorter. it was making me laugh.
"stop moving" the salonist scolded.
"sorry" i looked back at zach and curled my lips inward. zach looked down trying his best not to make me laugh and piss off the salon lady. it wasn't working. i blurted a laugh as zach fell to the floor laughing. then i felt a cut of my ear.
"ow! shit"
i moved my hand to my ear. blood. suddenly my head hurt. the blood. it triggered something. a flashback. a bad one. in the bathrooms.

——

"jack? jack can you hear me?"

"is he ok?"

"jacky no"

"zach get back"

"let me see him"

many voices kept repeating in my head over and over again.

"zach don't cry"

"daniel let go of me!"

zach's hand trailed to my cheek as tears slipped onto mine falling from his eyes.

"jack stay with me stay with me"

"zach let go the doctors need to see him"

"no!"

i could hear wheels and the cries of someone. it wasn't zach this time. it was somebody else's hand. on my wrists. where the cuts i had just newly made. daniel's hand.

"it's going to be ok it's going to be ok"

"stay with me jack stay with me"

"i can't live without you"

his hand was brushed away as medic noises filled into my ears. that's when my vision blurred as i wiped my hand across my wrist. blood.

——
"jack?"
"jack?"
zach's voice echoed back into my ears. i glanced over to him. he was closer to me now his hand squeezing mine and his other holding a napkin to my ear.
"you ok?" he said with a chuckle.
"the lady tried to get your attention but you didn't respond to her"
zach removed the napkin as i caught a glimpse of the blood. i flinched. zach saw it.
"everything ok?" he questioned holding my hand.
"...do you remember that day?"
zach pursed his lips.
"what?"
"...the incident"
zach gulped as he looked down. he played with my shoe laces.
"...what about it?" he said in a cracky voice.
i moved my hand back up to my ear letting a slight faint blood fall on my fingers.
"jack..."
"i'm sorry i should've not done this" he said softly.
i wiped it away.
"don't be sorry we're in this together zachy" i smiled playing with one of the curly tools in his hair.
"you're hair looks sick" he exclaimed.
i looked back up as the salon lady turned my chair to the mirror. it was short. and it was straight.
"i'm sorry about your ear" she said rubbing the back of her neck. i looked back at zach double tying my shoes.
"it's ok"
"is there anything else you two want"
i inhaled as zach sat with his elbows on his knees near my hair on the floor.
"let's go purple"
zach looked back at me.
"...what?"
i laughed.
"yeah i want to go purple"
"ok what shade exactly?"
i thought for a second. i looked back at zach. and then at his shirt. a little design engraved on his white shirt caught my eye. a flower. lavenders.
"lavender"
"i want to go lavender"