anxious | jack avery

18.

[jack]
"what?"
i closed my eyes as i repeated the same thing in my mind over and over again.
don't cry jack.
zach looked down to the bed sheets as he bit his lip. he took his sleeve and wiped his tears away. he sniffled as he looked back at me.
"why d-do you say it now j-jack?" he mumbled.
don't cry. be strong.
"i don't know w-why i couldn't say those 3 little words to you. and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for k-kissing daniel and cheating on you. i'm s-sorry for being such a fuck up and ruining w-what we both had. i-i...i'm sorry zach. i'm sorry for being such a b-bitch and hurting you so much like m-making everything about me. i'm sorry z-zach." i cried out.
i dropped to the floor as i sobbed. i didn't even care if he was seeing me break. i felt an arm rest around my shoulder.
"jack?" zach's soft voice whispered into my ear.
i choked on a sniffle as zach brought the sleeve on his shirt to my face wiping the continuous tears streaming down my face. zach lifted my chin with his pointer finger facing me to him. i looked down.
"jack l-look at me" zach stammered.
i blinked as another tear fell down my cheek.
"jack."
i glanced up as zach's eyes blinked softly. his eyes were puffy and red and his cheeks were more redder than usual. his rosacea was sensitive. my hand found the courage to touch his cheek. his cheek was soft as my fingers trailed up to his hair tangling in his loose curls. zach's eyes weren't fully open due to puffy ness  as my hands trailed down his chest to the sides of his shoulders. i took my hand back as i folded my knees to my chest. zach scooted closer as his head rested on my shoulder.
i'm sorry zach. i'm so sorry.
"zach"
he responded by shaking his head up slightly.
"...i'm sorry" i whispered cracking my voice at the last letter.
zach didn't respond. all he did was rub my shoulder and kiss my shoulder. all i wanted to do was kiss him and everything would be ok.
i squeezed his hand multiple times. zach squeezed back as i heard him softly laugh. the first times i had a panic attack was with zach. and in the hospital zach would squeeze my hand to make sure i knew he was there for me.
i closed my eyes.

———

"jack?"
"jack c'mon can you hear me?"
"jack!"

———

"hey hey."
"you're going to be ok ok?"

———
"y-you're going to be o-ok"

"i'm r-right here"

———

"jack."
my eyes opened as zach's face was inches away from me. hid thumb massages the side of my face and his other hand held mine.
"w-what?"
zach didn't say anything. instead he leaned in and kissed me. the kiss was long. and passionate. zach parted away as i looked at him confused. then i leaned back in and kissed him back. zach's hand pushed behind my head as he deepened the kiss. i pulled away to gasp for air. zach smiled and kissed my cheek. i giggled.
"...i love you more" zach finally said promptly.
i rolled my eyes as i picked him up twirling him around the room as he yelped.
"put me down you idiot!" he laughed.
i put him down on the bed as my necklace dangled down to zach. zach's smile disappeared as his eyes met with mine.
"what?" i said.
zach pecked my lips.
"nothing everything's ok"
i sighed plopping down next to him.
"what jack?"
"...you're too nice" i exclaimed burying my face into my hands.
zach peaked through my hands as he forced a smile.
"...do you love me?"
i frowned.
"what?"
"i said do you love me?"
i scoffed as he flipped over on his stomach and rested his body on top of mine.
"i love you zach herron." i whispered.
his cheeks tinted a more red colour as i kissed his cheeks and his neck.
"i love you too" he replied cutely.