anxious | jack avery

13.

i woke up to the sound of the monitor beeping. then i looked down and smiled. zach's body was cuddled next to me as he was fast asleep. i kissed his forehead as his eyes fluttered open.
"jacky?"
i didn't answer him afraid that if i said anything i'd ruin the moment. instead i planted a kiss on his lips as he kissed back little pecks. he smiled fiddling my hair around his fingers and letting his head cuddled closer to my chest. he didn't say anything else. he just stared into my eyes.
"you're so cute" he said quietly.
i laughed as he continued to kiss me softly.
"zach?" i let out finally.
he stopped and looked up.
"yeah?"
"...where is everyone?"
he held my hand as he turned his head to the empty room only with us in it.
"well i basically begged the lady to let me in"
"and she let you?"
"no one can stand my adorable smile"
"yeah that's true" i laughed.
it hurt my hand a little as i let out a groan of pain. the bandage had to be redone since blood was leaking through the bandage. zach's eyes locked down to my arm planting a gentle kiss on the bandage.
"...i'm sorry"
"for what?"
"for not being there to protect you" he sighed.
i could tell he was upset. and not at me but himself.
"this isn't your fault"
"what if i was there for you?" he said with a crack in his voice.
i could tell he was about to cry again.
"i c-could've s-stopped you"
tears pooled in my eyes as i turned my head the other way resisting them from falling out.
"zach please don't get upset on something that isn't your fault"
"i'm your boyfriend i'm supposed to be here for you"
i turned my head back as tears streamed down his face. i hated to see him in pain. it just hurt more than the cut on my wrists.
"i love you and i won't allow you to be upset over my own mistakes ok?"
he wiped his tears with his sleeve sniffling.
"we postponed tour"
"no why?"
"because we care about you jack!" he said loudly.
"that's not an excuse to give up on what we've been working for"
"what's our dream without you jacky?" he stuttered.
before i could say another word a nurse walked in with bandages. zach quickly buried his head in my chest avoiding the fact he was crying.
"avery?" she said setting the bandages down and extending her arm to show mine.
i wrapped my free arm around zach as she unwrapped the bloody bandage. i flinched in pain.
"i'm sorry" she said.
"no don't be" i replied quietly.
zach looked up to examine. she took it off revealing 4 big cuts on my wrist going up my arm. i looked away.
"meds are on your desk" she prompted wrapping a new bandage. zach squeezed my arm in tension as she finished up.
"take care ok?" she smiled.
i forced a smile back.
"are you ok with him being here?" she pointed as zach.
"yeah i am" i giggled looking down. he smiled gently.
"do you want me to phone your brothers?"
i didn't have brothers but i knew who she was talking about.
"please"
she left the room as zach wrapped his leg on top of me.
"...i love you more than anything zachy"
he didn't say anything except kiss me again.
"i love you too"
i kissed his temple as my arm rubbed his shoulder up and down.