anxious | jack avery

16.

[jack]
i sighed as i plopped on my bed. my head hurt by the thought of my mind racing. over and over again.
daniel.
zach.
daniel.
i grabbed the pillow from my bed and covered my face with it. tears started streaming down my cheeks. until someone knocked on my door.
"jack?"
i stood up as i wiped my tears away with my hand.
"jack?" the voice said worriedly again.
daniel knocked on the door again. he was the last person i wanted to see. i opened the door.
"what?" i said clearing my throat.
he looked down as i moved out of the way. he sat on the floor as i frowned but sat down next to him.
"are you ok?" he questioned grabbing the pillow i threw on the floor and put it to his chest.
"yeah why wouldn't i be?"
"because when zach left you got upset and went upstairs without a word"
i pursed my lips as i laid my head on the floor. zach had left to go get something from his house and i was already missing him. was he mad at me? was he upset?
was he jealous?
"i-i'm fine" i managed to breathe out.
daniel dropped his head to the floor as well next to me as i turned my head to lock into his beautiful blue eyes. his eyes were hypnotizing. they were swirls of blue and were bright usually. but for some reason they weren't the brightest today.
"don't lie to me what's wrong?" he asked again.
i sighed as i looked the other way.
"zach's upset with me"
my heart hurt at the fact he was upset. it made me feel responsible for it.
it's your fucking fault jack
"why?"
i gulped as i shook my head.
"i don't want to tell you"
i felt daniel's index finger under my chin as he made me face him. he stared into my eyes as i let a small smile out.
"what?" i asked.
daniel didn't say anything. his finger moved from underneath my chin to my hair brushing it upwards.
zach does that.
i felt his touch on my cheek as i leaned in more next to him. his arm slid behind my shoulder as i broke his eye contact staring back down to the floor.
"jack?" daniel's voice repeated again.
i looked up to him as he stood up.
"mhm?"
he didn't say anything else. he opened his mouth but nothing came out of his mouth.
"what daniel?" i asked a bit annoyed.
it got me nervous of what he wanted to say. he didn't say anything again but he stood up as i followed his actions. daniel's tall figure towered over me as he cupped my cheek with one hand. my eyes trailed back into his eyes. i leaned in closer. and closer.
my breath started to quicken as daniel's eyes looked into mine. and then down to my lips. my whole body froze as i felt a pair of lips attached to mine.
"j-jack?"
i pulled away from daniel's kiss as i looked to my doorway. zach dropped his bag. my heart broke. zach closed the door as i ran behind him.
"zach wait!" i replied with my voice breaking.
"jack..." daniel started.
i didn't look back to him as zach grabbed his coat from the couch as he opened the door.
"zach where are you going?" jonah said.
"jonah not n-now" i stammered through tears.
i opened the door running out to catch zach.
"zach p-please"
zach looked back at me as i pulled his arm to look at me.
"zach i'm s-sorry" i choked through tears.
zach wiped his face as he looked behind me to corbyn.
"what's going on?" he said worriedly.
i looked back to corbyn. then to daniel running down the stairs.
"ask him." zach sniffled.
zach opened the door and he went out to his car.
"baby please listen to me-"
"listen to you about what?! listen how it didn't look like my boyfriend just kissed my best friend?" zach yelled.
i closed my mouth as zach looked to the floor.
"i-i thought...i thought you loved me jacky."
i walked up to him rubbing his shoulders with my hands.
"i-i d-do" i stuttered.
zach shook his head and looked up. i stepped closer to him as zach closed his eyes. i buried my face into his chest and cried. my heart broke for him. knowing what i did. knowing i kissed daniel out of now where and knowing that zach was uncomfortable with daniel around me. zach's tears fell on my cheek as he pushed me away lightly holding my hand. his eyes were red and his cheeks were streamed down with tears. i brought my hand to his face but he moved his face away. i broke his heart. i broke the only person i cared about.
"...jack?" he finally said.
"...w-what?" i replied.
zach tangled his fingers in my hand for a last time.
then he let go.
"i love you."
he leaned back as i tried to grab his hand to stay.
zach please. please don't leave me.
i tried to say something but nothing came out.
tell him you love him jack.
zach looked back at me once last time.
then he got in his car and left.
a tear slid down my cheek as jonah corbyn and daniel ran out.
"jack?"
"jack are you ok? what happened?"
"where's zach?"
i didn't turn around to look at them. i opened my car door and got in.
"jack no..." corbyn started.
i started the engine and locked the doors. jonah pulled at the handle.
"jack please"
i backed out of the parking lot and drove off. i didn't know where i was going. how long i was going to be gone. but i knew one thing. i wasn't feeling ok. my heart hurt. my chest hurt. i couldn't breathe. so i thought of the only place i could think of. i picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts.
mom.
i put the phone to my ear as i wiped my tears with my sleeve. the line rang as someone picked up the phone.
"hi bub"
sydnie.
"s-syd..." i stammered out.
"jack? what's wrong?" her tone shifted.
"...is m-mom h-home? are y-you home?" my voice broke.
"y-yeah i'm home with anthony? jack are you ok?" she said worriedly.
"n-no i'm n-not. i'm going to the h-hospital right now a-and i just w-wanted to l-let you know if i c-could s-stay home for a while?"
tears strayed down my cheeks.
"yes of course but j-jack are you o-ok?"
i nodded as if she could see me.
"yeah i'm ok"
no i'm not ok.
"i'll be there soon with mom. i love you stay strong for me bubby. please."
"i will love you"
the line hung up as i coughed and my heart rate quickened. i ran out of my car and walked up to the front desk.
"hi how can i help you?"
"i-i can't b-breathe"
the lady looked up at me as she called a line. i fell to the floor as my vision went blurry.

"sir? sir stay with me. what's your name?"

"jack. jack avery."