Balancing Love ☞︎ A Jesse St. James fan fic

Too Many Tunes In His Head For CommonSense

It had been about a week since I had last seen Jesse. A heavy feeling in my chest resonated whenever I thought about how close he had gotten to me. How close his lips were to my own. I constantly found myself wondering if I wanted him to actually kiss me. I hadn't ever experienced a kiss before. I didn't know if I wanted Jesse to have my first.

Being homeschooled almost my entire life and having dance the rest of my days, didn't leave much room for a social life. Jesse was really the first boy I had ever known. He was charismatic for sure, but was he genuine? Did he actually like me, want to kiss me. Or was he just bored, using me for his own amusement till a pretty little college girl came along?

It was very confusing and the fact that he hadn't come to see me, didn't help his case in my head very much. It had also started to affect my dancing. I often drifted off in thought and I would mess up. Madam would shout and I would feet terrible. It was very reoccurring. Other times, dancing was the only thing that cleared my mind from everything going on... the music tuned out the world and the moves tuned out my raging thoughts.

Madame had left for who knows how long. I sat on the ground, all by my lonesome, deep in a split and leaning my torso against the floor. Stretched your pelvis. A lot. With the music off and Madam not in the room anymore, I was left to my thoughts. They were able to drift into unimaginable areas of impossible.

"Ding, Dong." A voice said. I look up with through the mirror with no emotion on my face, seeing Jesse look around the room before quickly walking in. He heads towards me with a wide grin on his face. I sigh, moving out of my split and sliding my legs along the floor, bringing them together.

"What do you want, Jesse?" I ask, my thoughts whirling. I know it was just a kiss, practically on the cheek, but I didn't have any other experience to base it on! To me it meant something and I didn't know if it meant anything to a guy like Jesse. That's what caused me to be guarded around this guy. I saw Jesse's smile falter.

"Lunch? You agreed, remember?" He folded his hands in front of him. How should I play this? Hard to get? Make him want more? Pretend I didn't even realize or think about it at three in the morning? Alright then...

"Oh? That was this week?" I ask, laughing lightly as I got up. "I totally forgot about that... Did we ever set an actual date for that though?" I ask, turning away from the mirror to look at him. Jesse's smile widens and he walks forward.

"Well, no. But I thought later is better than never." He shrugs, raising a brow, wondering how I'm gonna act. I clear my throat and copy his pose.

"Are you paying?" Jesse shrugs.

"Why not," he says more calmly. "But you have to come to get the food... so, will you?" Be practically challenges. I step up.

"It'd be a pleasure." I respond lowly. Jesse smiles widely, taking a few steps back and towards the door.

"Great! Let's get on it!" He claps, moving to the door and walking out. I inhale deeply, wondering what I had just gotten myself into. I quickly change into a shirt and shorts and leave the studio.

We walk through campus, students walking all around us that suddenly my mind was brought to a question.

"Why aren't you in class?" I ask him, leading the way around a corner. He shrugs indifferently.

"Thought lunch with you would be a lot more fun."

We reach a cafe near campus and get seated outside. Both ordering a sandwich and salad, the waitress leaves us both with an air of awkwardness. The only distraction I have being the lemonade in front of me. Why did I agree to this again?