Healing the Past

Connect, Respect, Protect

Chapter 27

We found ourselves at a fair sized house in a good safe neighborhood. As we headed to the street the house was on kids and adults looked up from outdoor games or chores to watch us fly by. Cute little neighborhood. Apparently the recommended place to raise kids. The house we were going to belonged to an Officer Mark Douglas.

“Boss what’s the situation?” Ed asked.

“Officer Douglas has been having depression issues for a while. Ever since he had to shoot a kid trying to break up a gang fight. According to his coworkers he comes in does his patrols and goes home. His wife says that he’s quiet and withdrawn. Won’t talk to her or their daughter.”

“What’s the plan?” Jules asked.

“Thunder will do most of the talking. Jules and Sam will be there to back her up if needed.”

Last person I tried to talk down ended up dead. “Boss, I don’t think I can do this.”

“Of course you can T. And if you need backup Sam and Jules will be there and I’ll be in your ear. Talking you through it.”

“Then I don’t think I want to do this. The last person I had to talk too ended up shot.”

“That’s what will make this talk different. He’s shot a kid and you’ve shot a kid. It’s a connection. If you really don’t think you can do Jules can take over, but I think he’ll respond the best to you.”

Damn he’s good at talking people into things. “You’ll talk me through it if I need help?”

“Yep.”

“Let’s get this done fast.”

We headed in calmly through the front door. He was in the living immediately visible from the door. He was just sitting on the couch staring at his Glock. He only looked up when we came in. “Stay back.” His heart wasn’t completely in the command. His voice was barely a whisper.

“Sure thing Officer. We just want to talk. I’m Thunder. This is Sam and Jules.”

“I’m no longer deserving of that title.”

“Why not?”

“A month ago I shot a sixteen year old boy. He was just a kid, barely started life and now his life is over.”

“I’m sure you had every reason to take the shot. You probably saved many lives. In fact my boss told us all about it on the way here. The kid had a gun and was going to kill another kid he apparently grabbed as a hostage. I know.”

“You don’t understand. I know it was a clean shot, but I still killed a kid. Nothing will ever change that. I can’t look at the job the same way anymore. I can’t talk to my wife. Hell, I can’t even look my own daughter in the eye. You can’t possibly understand the guilt.”

“Actually I do. Just yesterday I had to shot fifteen year old kid because he gave up on life and pointed his gun at a cop. It was my job to talk him down and I ended up shooting him. I honestly didn’t want to be the one to talk to you today after what happened yesterday. But I let my boss talk me into because he made me realize that you and I, we’re the same. We both had to do something impossible and now it’s eating us up.”

“You seem to be doing ok. I on the other hand am about to blow my own brains out. So we’re pretty different.”

“The only difference is that I let the people around me help me. I actually talked to them instead of closing myself off. Of course there’s still time for that. But the point is I listened to and talked to the people who love me and that helps. I had some pretty crazy nightmares last night and I’m probably going to have more, but talking to the people who love me helps.”

He sat there thinking. I thought I lost him. “Boss.” I said in a low voice.

“He’s thinking about what you said T. Give him time. It’s a lot to go over.” He soothed.

Douglas flicked the safety off the gun. No I’m not losing another negotiation.

“What’s your daughter’s name?” I asked.

That threw him. “What? Amber.”

“That’s pretty. How old is she?”

“That’s good T. Changing his focus.” Sarge said over the headsets.

“Six. She’s six.”

“That’s a fun age.”

He smiled. “Yeah. She’s my little buddy. We did everything together.”

“Then don’t stay alive for yourself. Stay alive for her. She needs you. What’s she going to do if you pull that trigger? What’s she supposed to think? How is she going to see life as a beautiful thing if she learns that her dad couldn’t go on living?”

He looked at me and nodded. Then he asked me, “You sure that what’s working for you will work for me?”

“Pretty sure. It might take a little longer, but it should work.”

He nodded again and put the gun down.

On the way back to SRU I was thinking about what went down. I was pretty proud of myself. I thought I would be able to go home and chill. I was very wrong.