Better swim before you drown

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"When were you gonna tell me that you had dinner with Harry Styles?", Katie said to me on the phone when I had finally picked up after more or less accidentally ignoring her for the past thirty minutes. I just hadn't been in the headspace to deal with her so early in the morning on such an in important, nerve wracking, exciting day, the begging of a new chapter in my life, although in reality it did start with another phone call five weeks ago.

Today was my first day of shooting, the first day of shooting in general. I basically hadn't slept all night, spending most of my time going through the my lines over and over again, trying to memorize them as perfectly as possible, I didn't want to disappoint anyone, not the other cast and crew, the director, my mom, even my dad, whom I hadn't even told about this project, but I'm sure he must have found out through the media. Most importantly, I didn't want to disappoint myself.

"When were you gonna tell me that you're watching everything step I take?", I joked, not having the energy to explain myself first. I was being guided through the studio on my way to the actual set by an entourage of people that remined me of how Harry was being brought to the table read. Was this how a princess might feel? How famous people like actors or singers felt all the time? I wouldn't say it wasn't a complete feeling of comfort or protection, but also a feeling of restriction and pressure.

"I'm not, but the paparazzi are! You guys were all over twitter and even on the front of this teen magazine that we used to buy from the petrol station to collect all the 1D posters back when you were seventeen...", Katie told me, while I tried to keep her freak out session as low on volume as possible. "I can't believe we were this old then AND that you're going out with one of the guys on those posters!"

"Don't say going out, I'm not! It was just a business meeting! I don't even know him that well!", I exclaimed, hoping that none of the people surrounding me realized that I was talking to my noisy cousin about my famous costar. "He asked me for some advise in terms of acting and I, well I needed some advice in terms of... being chased down by paparazzi, as you can see."

"Bummer", she simply said and I could feel her roolling her eyes at me from all the way across the atlantic ocean. "ANYWAYS, I framed it for you, the magazine cover. You look quite good in the picture, i mean apart from rushing out of that car like into the restaurant like you were planning some kind of robbery. Harry looks pretty content!"

"Wow and that was so urgent that you had to call me three times to make sure I'd pick up?!", I huffed, passing another corridor with the dark walls next to me left and right increasing the feeling of restriction and pressure, but that also could have been my lungs not functioning properly due to stress. "Katie, it's five am in LA, I have my first day of shooting ahead. I'm sorry I don't have much time to chat about me or-", I lowered my voice a little, "-Harry. I'm literally walking into the set right now!"

"Okay, Okay, I'll stop bothering you!", Katie let out, followed by a light chuckle. I didn't want to be an asshole, especially since she had been basically the only family member of mine that I talked to on a regular basis, apart from my grandma like three times a year, on my birthday, on her birthday and on christmas. But I mean Katie wasn't just my cousin, she was one of my best friends, we grew up together, we collected OneDirection posters together, even when we were both going to separate universities.

"Just one last question and then you can ignore me in peace", Katie said, when I was already saying goodbye to her. Shouldn't her lunch break be over soon? You'd think as a fund manager she would have much more work to do in addition to framing teenage magazines, but sometimes even her noisy teenager self made a comeback. "Did he pay for your food?"

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